Celebrating Hanukkah as a Christian

Sunday begins the eight-day celebration of Hanukkah. As a Christian, I plan to celebrate this festival with my congregation. You may wonder why a Christian would reflect on a Jewish holiday. In John 10 it’s recorded that Jesus celebrated Hanukkah. Christians may have overlooked this passage, which refers to Jesus celebrating the Feast of Dedication, not aware that this is another term for Hanukkah.

Christianity Lost Its Jewishness

As centuries passed after Jesus's death, resurrection, and ascension, the followers of Jesus began to mold their vision of him into something completely different than who he was. Jesus was a first-century, Torah-observant Jew who would have been called Yeshua, which means salvation. Yeshua wasn’t the white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant Savior many churches hang portraits of on their walls.

The early believers were Jews, but over the centuries the church began to become more Western. Biblical values, which are contained in the Jewish scriptures of the Torah and Tanakh (what Christians would call the books of Moses and the Old Testament) are based on an entirely different worldview than American thinking. Biblical thinking is based on metaphor and story; American thinking is more concept-oriented. Biblical thinking is more community and family-oriented; American thinking is focused on the individual. Biblical thinking is based on divine providence—doing what is right regardless of the consequences; American thinking is manifest destiny—an ends-justifies-the-means focus on controlling outcomes, people, and resources. Biblical thinking sees history and events as cyclical; American thinking sees it as a time line of events marching forward.

In remembering Hanukkah, I am connecting to the Hebrew foundations of the Christian faith. I’m also connecting with my Jewish brothers and sisters in the faith. Yes, there are Jewish believers in Yeshua. I’m also connecting with those Jews that don’t believe in Yeshua, for God has a special heart and special plan for all the Jewish people. I take serious God’s promise to Abraham to bless those who bless him, and believe all Christians should have a heart for the people and land of Israel.

The History of Hanukkah

Around 200 B.C.E. the Jews in Judea came under the control of Antiochus III, a Seleucid king. He allowed the people to practice Judaism, and they were free to continue worshipping Adonai in the temple. Things changed when power transferred to his son, Antiochus IV.

In 175 B.C.E. Antiochus IV took power. In order to strengthen his influence, he wanted to spread Greek culture. This conflicted with the Jewish believers. The Jews had divided into two parties—one that was becoming more Hellenized (Greek), and one that wanted to follow a more traditional, Torah-observant lifestyle. Antiochus IV tried to use this wedge to Hellenize the Jews and took sides with the Hellenized Jews.

Antiochus IV outlawed the worship of the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, forbid them to practice the rites of their religion with punishment of death, made them eat swine flesh (which was considered abominable), burned Torah scrolls, set up a statue of Zeus in the temple, and sacrificed a pig on their altar.

A group named the Maccabees led a revolt. While severely outnumbered, God blessed their guerrilla tactics and they vanquished their oppressors. However, the temple lay desecrated. They needed to cleanse the temple, but only had enough of the sacred oil needed to light the temple menorah for one day. God allowed the oil to burn for eight days—enough time to cleanse the temple and prepare more oil. That is why Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah by lighting the candles on the Hanukkiah for eight days.

A Love for the Jewish People

One reason to celebrate Hanukkah is a love for the Jewish people. Ruth is a great example of showing a heart for the Jews. While she was a Moabite, she proclaimed to her Jewish mother-in-law, Naomi, after the death of Naomi’s son and her husband, that she would return with her to Israel. Naomi tried to dissuade her, but Ruth proclaimed that Naomi’s God would be her God and Naomi’s people would be her people. Her act of kindness led to her marriage to Boaz and becoming great-grandmother to King David, which was the forerunner of Jesus.

Keep the Oil Burning

Oil has special meaning to Christians. Kings would be anointed with oil as a picture of being chosen by God for his special purpose. Oil is a picture of God’s Holy Spirit. While at times it may seem like God’s Holy Spirit in our lives is growing thin, there’s always enough to cleanse us and let our lights shine.

A Picture of Things to Come

Many Bible scholars see Antiochus IV as a picture of the antichrist—a future world ruler who will oppose God’s plans and set up himself in the temple to be worshipped. An understanding of how God worked in the past helps illuminate how God will work in the future.

Conclusions

Yeshua celebrated Hanukkah, so it’s certainly a celebration all Christians can cherish. It gives us a picture of God’s deliverance of his people. It gives a picture of God’s Holy Spirit being sufficient for our purification and illumination. It helps give us a glimpse into how God has worked in the past, which enlightens how he will work in the future. While Hanukkah is often considered a distinctly Jewish celebration, it’s one Christians can and should reflect on.

The Plight of the Chronically Underemployed

Underemployment—what exactly is it? Simply, it’s finding oneself working below their skill level. Or, working a job that is paying less than they’re worth. Just to be clear, let me define what it’s not. It’s not someone working a job below their skill level when they want that because it’s easier and less stressful. It’s not someone working a job below their skill level because they are young and just haven’t had a chance to prove themselves. It’s not about someone who hasn’t put in the effort to find an appropriate job. It’s also not about someone who has skills, but those skills just aren’t valuable in the market. It’s about someone who has worked hard, has valuable skills, but can’t find a job that uses those skills and/or pays them properly.

It’s a Key Feature of the American Economic System

How is employment viewed by those on the top of our system? I don’t mean a middle or upper manager that may be someone’s boss. I mean those that own the corporations and have all the wealth. It also applies to C-level executives, because they answer to the owners. To them, employees are viewed as liabilities on a profit and loss statement. I know, because I’ve had jobs where I’ve been treated like a liability.

Let’s consider a real life example. Years ago I worked at a for-profit college called Bohecker College. I don’t mind mentioning their name, because the college is now defunct. So, I’m not hurting anyone’s feelings. When I first hired in, I spoke with the Director of Education, who hired me to teach some classes and expressed that the company may hire me full-time down the road. He forgot to mention that their business model was based around hiring part-time faculty. I was left with the impression that if I performed well, the company would likely hire me full-time, which was a lie.

Within several months I had become a key member of the faculty. It was fairly common for me to spend 20-25 hours a week in direct teaching duties (primarily teaching a class or sometimes tutoring). That didn’t include significant time spent outside of class in preparation, grading, coordinating events with staff, record keeping, and other responsibilities. During my time there I was awarded two significant teaching awards—one that was nominated by the students and the other that was nominated by the administration.

While I was a full-time faculty member in terms of my teaching load, responsibilities, and level of performance, I was being paid part-time and had no benefits. I worked there for about four years. The promise of being hired full-time was never realized. And, I wasn’t the only faculty member overlooked. Near the end of my time there, the college was functioning without a librarian, didn’t have needed student services (like a math and writing lab), and was functioning with nearly all classes being taught by part-time instructors. I worked there from 2004-2008. At the time students told me they were paying around $12-15,000 a year working on two-year degrees. So, the money was definitely there to hire a core group of full-time instructors, a librarian, and proper support staff. 

The company managed to find the funds to build a modern new building. But, paying and treating employees correctly wasn’t even considered. Why is that? Well, a piece of property is an appreciable asset on a profit and loss statement. Employees are liabilities. Those at corporate ran things like sociopaths guided by greed and a reckless disregard for the needs of students. I was a burnt out husk when I left.

I was young at the time. So, one may say I was just paying my dues. It was easy to think that at the time, but the more people I’ve talked to about employment, and the more I’ve struggled with underemployment, I’ve come to realize these types of situations are chronic features of the American economy. Employees are nothing more than liabilities to those making the key decisions. 

Human Resources Isn’t Helping

In 2008 I began taking some doctoral classes in Education at Kent State University. I found I was good at teaching, but I wasn’t being paid and treated properly. So, I did what was logical. I considered getting a Ph.D. That would put me on the top of the education food chain with better employment options. I learned that being a tenured professor isn’t primarily about teaching. It’s about academic research and writing. There’s a phrase bantered around, “Publish or perish.” I was neck deep into academic journals and I found I hated academic research and writing. I wasn’t wired like a researcher. I was wired like an artist. So, I needed to pivot and consider working outside of the college system.

At this point, I had a bevy of leadership, management, writing, speaking, content creation, and creative skills. But, I was also carrying an anchor around my neck. My employment history was in education. And, “Those that can’t teach.” I was finding it hard to pivot, because no one would give me a chance.

During my journey, I spoke with someone who was an employment specialist. I told him that I felt human resources, which is the gatekeeper to many jobs, is averse to risk taking. No matter what someone’s skills, HR play it safe and will go with someone with lesser skills, but years of experience. That way, if the person doesn’t work out, at least on paper it looks like they made a viable decision. He confirmed I was correct.

But, what does that mean? In practical terms it means that someone that has taken an “entry level” job, put in their dues, worked hard, and is making the correct career adjustments, may end up running into a brick wall. The system is designed for someone to climb a given ladder. If you find out you’re on the wrong ladder, you’ll have a hard time jumping to another ladder.

Just Find Another Job

When I hear someone say, “Well, just find another job”, I want to pummel them to within inches of their life. They say it so flippantly—like it’s an easy thing to find another job. I’ve applied to thousands of jobs in my search. And, I don’t mean that figuratively. Years ago I was tracking all the jobs I had applied to on an Excel spreadsheet. I was well over a thousand when I stopped tracking. It was too mentally taxing to see that number climb. I do have a system to track job applications, but the spreadsheet with the big number of rejections had to go.

Some people are lucky. They exited high school or college and stepped on the right career ladder. Somewhere along the way they were given a chance or a few chances. My experience (as well as many others I’ve spoken with) is finding the right open door in our American economic system is rare. I’ve even gone back and gotten more schooling on top of my Master’s degree. I have the skillset, but no one is willing to open the door. After having thousands of doors slammed in my face, I’m beat down. I know I’m not alone. 

After Bohecker, I ended up working at another for-profit college. My experience was similar and perhaps even worse. It was a revolving door for faculty and students suffered. I saw the lack of needed services (like library and tutoring). I was making an effort to get out of the system, but wasn’t finding a path out. It was easy to think my time at Bohecker College was a fluke, but my second experience with a for-profit college convinced me it wasn’t chance. While there may be some good for-profit colleges out there, many are simply there to take advantage of students.

While I was discouraged, I never lost my concern for students. I talked with them. Many of them came from broken situations—which included family issues, social issues, education issues, employment issues, or similar problems. It’s easy to see people struggling and think it’s their fault. Honestly, with some of my students, it was their fault. They had made bad choices and were suffering the consequences. But, in many cases, it wasn’t their fault. They were facing hardships due to systemic societal issues. Talking with my students helped confirmed that the employment problems I was facing wasn’t just me. It was affecting many people. Underemployment is a chronic feature of the American economic system.

You’re Not a Contractor

Start looking through job ads and you’ll see the terms “contract”, “independent contractor”, “contractor”, or similar. What exactly does that mean? Basically, it means the company is not going to treat you with the respect of an employee. They’re not going to offer any benefits. They’re not going to take out taxes or pay their fair share of taxes. And, they’re going to expect you to run everything like a fully functional business without covering any of your expenses.

To be fair, there are relationships where this is beneficial to both parties. For example, a company may hire a plumber to install new fixtures in their bathroom. The plumber does the job, is paid, and moves on to the next job. The plumber is not a permanent part of the company’s business.

However, when an employee is a permanent part of a business, but is not treated like they are, this harms the employee. And, in many cases it’s illegal. Be aware that I’m using the term “employee” in the way the average person would view it—not in the legal sense some companies use terms to skirt treating people correctly.

Let me give an example. I was working for Liberty University teaching online Speech Communication classes. I don’t mind naming names, because Liberty is one of the largest Christian universities in the world. They hold their students and employees to a high standard of Biblical conduct. And, Liberty has a law department, so any decisions on employment matters isn’t made out of ignorance. It’s only reasonable to assume Liberty would run things in a manner that met the highest standards of the law and treated people with integrity. To be fair, many of the people I worked with at Liberty were sterling examples of Christian conduct. So, I’m pointing fingers at those that made decisions concerning employment status.

As a teacher of online classes, I was classified as an independent contractor. When I had to file taxes for the first time under that classification, I found out I faced a crushing tax bill. Being considered 1099 (which is the form companies send people classified as independent contractors), none of my taxes had been taken out. And, Liberty had not paid their half of taxes on my behalf.

Facing a huge tax bill, I had to figure out how to mitigate the damage. So, I began some research to see what I could do. I’m not going to bore you with all the details or try to give you legal definitions or advice. I’m going to speak as a layperson, because that’s what I was facing dealing with complex issues with the IRS. I found if someone is a regular part of the operations of a business and/or the company tells them how to perform their duties, they are legally considered an employee. Liberty’s key business was education and I was teaching, so I was a regular part of business operations. I had to follow procedures, a syllabus, a course calendar, report to supervisors, and do other things one would associate with being a regular employee. So, according to how the IRS defined things, I felt I should have been classified as an employee.

I filed paperwork with the SS-8 division of the IRS. They found I was misclassified. My tax burden was lessened. I assume they went after Liberty to pay for taxes I no longer owed, but I have no way of knowing for sure. The decision on my behalf was a hallelujah moment, but the IRS is a huge organization and the system isn’t designed to properly deal with misclassification. So, even though I won the tax battle and was properly classified, I was dealing with the IRS for years to clear things up.

Why would Liberty misclassify me? It certainly fell short of measuring up to Biblical values. It certainly had nothing to do with Liberty lacking funds. They were able to classify me correctly when the IRS presumably sat on them. Plus, they were able to pay upper level management high salaries and own a good portion of real estate in Lynchburg, Virginia. It really came down to the decision makers tossing aside the Bible in favor of viewing an employee as a liability. If a “Christian” university can’t treat employees correctly, it suggests the system is broken.

We’re Being Underpaid

In our current economic system the goal for employers is to hire as few people as possible and pay them as little as possible. A properly functioning economic system would have the opposite goals—to pay people as much as reasonably possible and to employ as many people as reasonably possible. However, wage and income inequality is out of control in our country. But, how much are people being underpaid?

It’s virtually impossible to know the exact number. Employers aren’t going to be straight with employees about how much money the employee is making for the company. If they were, there would be a revolution. I’ve only had one job where I had some knowledge of how my pay matched up with my value.

I was working in the weigh and inspection department for a major trucking company. My job was to inspect freight and see if companies had misclassified their freight to receive a lower rate. It was a frequent occurrence, which is a symptom of a system set up to maximize profits even if that disregards operating with integrity. I reported misclassifications and recorded it in a computerized system. I was able to see the huge sums of money I was recovering for the company. It came in huge sums—five thousand here, forty thousand there, twenty thousand with this account. It would have likely added up to a million dollars on a yearly basis and was easily into the high six figures. So, you’d expect I was well paid. But, I wasn’t. I was a temporary employee without any benefits making around $1,800 a month. I was only being paid a single-digit percentage of the amount of money I was making for the company.

With C-level salaries rising, shareholders’ profits soaring, and the wage gap increasing, I can only assume my experience is representative of many jobs. In our economy, the main way to make money is to start with money. But, the average person only has their work to exchange for wages. It’s a system that is rigged against the average worker—who must suffer not because the money isn’t there, but because the money is being siphoned off by a greedy few who weren’t struggling to begin with.

Quiet Quitting

Since I’ve shared my experience working at a few for-profit colleges, you may wonder, “Did he ever quiet quit on teaching?” The answer is, “No.” The main reason is I was never able to stop caring about my students. However, honestly, if I would have been able to turn off my heart for students, I would have done it. After years of being underpaid, unappreciated, overworked, working multiple jobs, being mismanaged, and not having the proper support needed, I became frayed. I had less to give students. I was fortunately able to leave before all my soul had been drained, but eventually I would have had nothing to give. So, even though I didn’t quiet quit, I would have quiet quit if my heart would have allowed it. I fully appreciate why people do it.

A better explanation for quiet quitting is the phrase, “Acting your wage.” Employment should be a reciprocal relationship, where the employer shows a genuine concern for employees. When that’s not the case, people begin to give less. They set boundaries. They protect themselves because they have to. Those that can turn off their ability to care do. Those that can’t have no other choice than leave. When a business doesn’t care, the first employees that flee are the ones that do care. Because, it’s far less stressful to those that don’t give a damn.

I know employers will complain that people don’t want to work anymore. It’s simply not true. The COVID-19 pandemic caused people to reflect and put them under stress. Many people have come to a breaking point with employment. They’re only willing to care as much as their employers reciprocate. And, since many employers view employees through the lens of a liability on a profit and loss statement, that’s what they’re getting from their employees. Until employers start treating people like assets, they can’t expect employees to act like assets.

Where Have All the Unions Gone

Why did unions develop in the first place? Workers were getting the shaft and had no other choice but to band together and demand changes. I know as soon as I mention unions, there are those that think of all the problems with unions. Obviously, unions have a take-it-to-the-man attitude and their relationship with corporations are hostile. But, that’s because people have been backed into a corner and they’re forced to come out fighting. Unionization isn’t the problem. Unionization is a symptom of the deeper problem of toxic ownership and management.

I would love to see a strong union movement globally. Many employers will not do what is right unless forced to do so. Unions provide a more balanced power relationship between workers and management.

Things don’t function well when there’s friction between workers, owners, and management. However, even though unions function at the point of friction, unions didn’t cause the friction. It’s the abuses of ownership and management that causes the friction.

Summary

Chronic underemployment is a symptom of a diseased economic system. It’s an issue that many face. Long-term chronic underemployment takes a brutal toll on mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and physical health.

There are solutions. Workers’ rights need to be clearly defined and backed by powerful government regulations. Other countries have figured out how to provide people with essentials like maternity and paternity leave, guaranteed time off, medical care that functions for all, and far healthier relationships between workers, owners, and management. Wage inequality isn’t near as high globally as it is in the United States. The only reason things don’t function correctly for U.S. workers is the American economic system is based on meeting the greeds of the few instead of the needs of the many. 

Restore Common Sense to Our Medical System

During some point in our lives, we’re all going to encounter the bureaucracy of medical treatment. And, we’re going to conclude that our system sucks. It’s often not the people. Sure, I’ve met a few doctors with a grumpy bedside manner, but on the whole the nurses, doctors, home health aides, and medical suppliers I’ve dealt with have been fine people. Some have been the kindest, most caring people I’ve met, who brought needed hope to a loved one in need. So, it’s not the people—at least not the ones on the front lines. But the system is faulty.

Rather than look at the system as a whole, I’d like to look at small details. A lack of attention to small details shows that somewhere along the line there’s an error. I’m sure as I point these things out, others have thought about them. They’ve talked to supervisors, medical suppliers, pharmaceutical companies, and politicians. As the little details have moved up the chain of bureaucracy, there’s been some shortsighted dimwit that has just given the response, “Well, we just can’t do that.”, or “That will cost extra money.”, or “You just don’t understand how the system works.” In some conference room, where the people with the real power make decisions that affect people’s lives, stupidity reigns, because corporate America is ruled by profits, power, and convenience for the small group of soulless jackasses that have the final say. So, let’s look at some of those details. As I’ve helped care for loves ones, it’s often these little details that frost me.

Let’s Read the Fine Print

Or, maybe we won’t read the fine print. Have you seen the fine print? You’d need a microscope to read the print on pill bottles, instruction stickers on medical devices, or the tiny print on a cellphone a home health aide is carrying, because their company thinks they only need one device. Wouldn’t want to pay a hundred bucks for a large tablet so grandma can read the fine print, now would we?

I’ve wondered, as I’ve seen an elderly relative struggle to read the fine print, why don’t they give them bigger instructions? And, why aren’t there instructions on the side of the oxygen tank? I know there’s room. Someone had enough thought to put the company phone number on the side in a thousand-point font, because, well, when that tank is empty, we need a call so we can sell another. Why aren’t things labeled in big, clear, easy to understand ways? Doesn’t anyone think about these things? My only conclusion is that someone has thought about these things. I can’t be the only one. Things were pushed up the chain and eventually died, because a lazy middle manager didn’t want to be bothered. Or, made it all the way up to the boardroom of jackasses and died, because that would cost an extra nickel. Well, if you multiply a nickel by a million orders, I’ll have to buy a smaller yacht.

Pills, Pills, Pills

Ah yes, the bag of pills. It’s a huge bag that’s extremely confusing to someone that can’t read the labels. Because, remember, the label is microscopic. Did you know it’s hard to read small print on a curve? Squint. Rotate. Squint. Rotate. Squint. Rotate. I’m getting a headache. And, why aren’t these instructions in English? I recognize all the characters, so it looks like English, but I don’t comprehend what’s being said. I’m a writer that’s helping my elderly relative. I’ve taught college English classes, so I should be able to figure this out, but there’s a lack of clarity in the wording. And then, it dawns on me. Instructions for something as important as a critical medicine, something that could turn dangerous or even deadly if misused, shouldn’t be reduced to one-hundred-forty characters like a Twitter post. Well, actually, I’m not even sure if they could fit one-hundred-forty characters on this teensy, tiny little label. My thumbnail is bigger

Did you know they can make injection molded plastic into cube shapes? Hard to believe, isn’t it? Simply making the pill bottle larger and square would help the situation. Of course, printing out the instructions on a regular sheet of paper in big print would really help. It may even give room to give complete instructions without any abbreviations or jargon. Yeah, that would really help. Of course, there goes some fuel for some useless jackass’s leer jet.

I have an idea. Now, I know this is going to be bold. It may be so brilliant that no one else has ever thought about it. Why not also print out a full list of all medications the person should be taking? Make it simple—include times, doses, and full instructions. And, include it with every prescription refill, because sometimes elderly people have a change in their medication and simply giving them obscure instructions about their new pill doesn’t tell them whether they should keep taking the old pill or if the new pill replaces the old one. Or, and I’m really spitballing here, because this idea is at an Einsteinian level of brilliance, why not have the pharmacist presort all the pills into little packets—Monday morning pills in one packet, Monday evening in another packet, Tuesday morning in another packet, and so on! I know, I know. Nickels and dimes, leer jets and yachts without fuel, and what if the pharmacy had to hire another person to do all that sorting? Oh, heaven forbid we help grandma and create a new job!

Then there is the pill splitter. Let’s give an elderly person with bent hands a pill the size of ladybug and expect them to split it with a little, cheap, injection molded plastic device. How’s that working for them?

Why are some of these pills so small? Don’t they have any fillers that could make them a reasonable size for disfigured hands to hold. We’ve all found a loved one’s pill on the floor. Somewhere along the line, with the forty-seven pills in their hand, one broke loose. We don’t know when it happened. We’re just glad they’re still alive. 

Touchscreens

Zombie fingers. Have you heard of zombie fingers? No, well, you’re about to learn something. Have you ever watched an elderly person fumble with a cellphone? Or, maybe it’s that touchscreen a home health aide hands them. You know, that device that has crucial information they need to read and understand. And then, instead of focusing on the information, it’s a struggle to scroll, pinch, and expand text. Touchscreens are designed to register electrical signals from contact with skin. But, people with circulator issues, or other medical conditions, may not have proper blood flow and function in their fingers. That can impact the electrical signals and the touchscreen doesn’t work properly.

Everything anymore is designed to function around the touchscreen. If your fingers work properly, that cellphone, tablet, or device can make your life easier. But, if your fingers don’t work properly, all those devices just make life harder. I’m not saying get rid of touchscreens. If you try to take away my iPad, you’re going to have a fight on your hands! But, there needs to be alternate ways to access information for elderly patients that need medical care. The touchscreen may not be the right tool for them, but what does every visiting nurse, home health aide, or medical supplier carry?

Zombie finger is well known. I found out about it, because I watched an elderly relative consistently struggle with a cellphone. I did a little research—nothing in-depth, just a quick Google search. I mentioned it to a home health nurse, who was carrying her touchscreen, but had never heard about it. Why? Why wouldn’t she know? Do you think device manufacturers are aware of the issue? And, in boardroom discussions, do you think there was talk about keeping a lid on this little problem? There could be research into make the device friendly for all users, but then, nickels and dimes, nickels and dimes, there goes my vacation to Bermuda. Why worry about the disenfranchised few when the phones are flying off the shelves? So what if grandpa is getting his physical therapy and is struggling with that touchscreen his occupational therapist gave him. It’s not our problem!

The Oxygen Tanks

Tank would be a good word. These things are huge. And, heavy! Really heavy! They’re not heavy for me or the guy that brings them to the house. No, we’re healthy men. We don’t have rheumatoid arthritis and breathing issues. I deadlifted twenty times the weight just this morning. But for a small, elderly woman with rheumatoid, these things are huge. Why? Can’t they make them lighter? We have plastics, polymers, and carbon fibers. Oh, right, nickels and dimes. But, once the tank is made, the company takes away the old tanks when they’re empty. I assume they sterilize them and refill them. So, the cost of a better tank is a one-time investment to make someone’s life easier.

Why are they round? Won’t a round tank roll around in the backseat or trunk of someone’s car? Plus, doesn’t a cylinder have less volume that a cuboid shape? So, a cylinder would have less oxygen than if the shape was squared off—meaning it has to be bigger to carry the needed oxygen. I know some engineer right now is thinking about the problems of manufacturing a cuboid shaped oxygen tank made of a lightweight polymer. There probably are issues, but we put a man on the moon, didn’t we? And, I’m sure that man needed some oxygen.

Summary

I know sometimes I think too much about things, but I also know others have come to these same conclusions. The little details at times can be infuriating. These little details can become big struggles. Or, sometimes a big catastrophe that leads to a hospital stay or even death. The small details are just a symptom of bigger problems. And, that’s really at the heart of many of the problems of our medical system. We sometimes treat symptoms and don’t uncover the underlying illness. And, that underlying illness is usually the nickels and dimes that fuel some useless extravagance. 

Introverts, Creatives, and Congregational Life

The congregational life for almost all congregations is set up primarily by extroverts and for extroverts. Likely you’re not ministering properly to the highly introverted pure creatives. This is a unique personality that a handful of people possess. I happen to be one of them. These unique individuals have a set of creative talents that you need in your ministry. They also have some unique weaknesses and needs you need to understand so you don’t drive them away.

What’s a Highly Introverted Pure Creative?

Let’s begin by defining the highly introverted pure creative. An introvert is a person that is primarily energized by their internal thought processes. They think deeply. They reflect. They have deep insight and understanding into things. They make great theologians, because their minds dig deeply into God’s soil.

They are also often highly creative. Some are pure creatives. God put pure creatives on this earth to write, create music, shoot videos, draw, paint, and dance. They most reflect Christlike character through the creative process. God is a creator and has designed certain people to reflect the creative side of his nature.

The key strength of the highly introverted pure creative is creativity. It’s also an area that is often misunderstood. They often question things and that questioning may be interpreted by those that don’t understand as being critical when that’s often not the intent of the heart. Their creativity often expresses itself as some type of art—music, drama, poetry, dance, painting, or other types of things. In many cases someone may be highly proficient in several arts.

At times God will give the highly introverted pure creative a gift that is forward facing—like teaching, evangelism, or administration. I know this, because God has gifted me to teach. To a certain degree this makes sense, because this personality type often uncovers deep truths through their incessant internal thought processes. Those truths need to be shared.

But there’s a rub. One of the key weaknesses of an introvert is they have limited people energy. People drain the introvert and in social settings they cannot turn this discharge of energy off. Often this discharge of personal energy energizes those around the introvert—sometimes in soft, subtle ways, but also sometimes in more exuberant fashions—like through teaching, preaching, or dramatic performances. An introvert may have a strong stage presence, natural leadership skills, can be the life of the party, may be funny, and may not come across shy or socially awkward. And, that’s a problem, because this masks their true personality and they may be expected to minister like an extrovert. 

A lot of noise and activity in the environment drains the introvert. They need quiet and solitude in order to escape into their internal thought processes and renew themselves. This isn’t to say the extrovert also doesn’t need some solitude and reflection, but for the introvert it’s a consistent, daily hunger.

While an introvert may come across as having a bubbly, exuberant personality, there is usually a reticent lone wolf residing underneath. This personality type doesn’t like conflict. And, they don’t like the need to be overly vocal to get their point across.

Our Society and Congregations are Run by Extroverts

Your most vocal people are your extroverts. So, when you design things to be more introverted friendly, the extroverts will be quick to speak up and assert their extroverted perspective on things. That’s their nature. The introverts won’t be as quick to speak. Perhaps that’s why things are often designed by extroverts for extroverts—the loudest and most persistent voices are the ones heard. God speaks in a still, small voice. And, it’s often the same type of voice the introvert uses. But, it’s hard to hear that voice when the extroverts are making too much noise.

I’m not saying everything has to be designed to minister to introverts. What I am saying is currently 95% of the life blood events in congregational life are extrovert oriented and a proper balance would be that only 50% of the life blood events should be extrovert oriented. There isn’t a proper balance and understanding of the introverted personality, which can drive introverts away—and, many of the most creative people, the ones that you need involved in creative arts ministries, walk out the door.

I’m not trying to pick on extroverts. Many of the most godly people I know are extroverted. They minister to me in ways an introvert could not. However, if you truly have a deep discussion with an introvert and they open up to you, which they may be hesitant to do because they fear bringing up uncomfortable issues that may cause conflict, they will express that they often feel society as a whole tries to conform them into acting in extroverted ways and suppresses them from keeping the extroverts in check.

Let’s Join a Worship Service

For most congregations, the main worship service is considered the lifeblood event of the congregation. This rule may not be stated, but much of the time, energy, and focus of the congregation goes into this weekly event. It’s often an event designed by extroverts for extroverts. By it’s very nature, it’s an extroverted event, because a large social gathering is an extrovert magnet.

Suppose in the middle of the service a particularly lively song is being played. Someone in the audience is dancing and clapping, hooping and hollering, praising the Lord. Someone goes up to that person and tells them to quiet down. Many people would think that is out of line. However, how many people would consider it out of line if someone were to nudge their quiet neighbor and encourage them to clap their hands? Probably not near as many. But, why? Why is it considered rude for an introvert to ask an extrovert to worship in a more introverted fashion, but it isn’t considered rude for an extrovert to ask an introvert to worship in a more extroverted fashion? There are some unstated social rules that a ministry must understand in order to be an environment that’s comfortable for introverts. One of these unstated societal rules is that extroverts are allowed to be overbearing and impose an extroverted environment on introverts, but introverts aren’t supposed to check the extroverts and quiet them down. I’ve spoken to many introverts that feel this way—not just about religious events, but about the way our society as a whole functions. Since the worship service is intrinsically an extroverted event, what needs far more consideration is accommodating the needs of the introverts, because the event can easily become overwhelming and fatiguing to introverts.

The Worship Leader is Too Rah Rah

At times the cheerleading from the worship team and those on stage needs to be toned down. You can sing and clap with all the energy and enthusiasm you want, but don’t try to prod others to do the same. Let’s consider common things a worship leader may say:

“Let’s all stand up and praise the Lord.”

“Can everyone clap and give the Lord a hand.”

“Can I hear a shout? Can someone give me an amen?”

“Let’s sing out.”

These kind of things are great examples of an extroverted encourager inadvertently creating an extroverted worship experience. Things become louder. There’s more movement and activity. And, the introvert becomes overloaded. It’s most worship leaders' natural tendency to push the worship experience in this direction; but, the introvert may need a more quiet, reflective worship experience.

While the extroverts may enjoy this prodding, the introverts finds it manipulative. Congregations need introverts being highly involved in the planning of worship and social events. And, they must understand that when an introvert gives feedback that basically amounts to turning down the volume, they aren’t trying to be a wet blanket. They’re trying to create an experience the introverts will also benefit from.

If you carefully consider most of the prodding the worship leaders and those on stage give, you’ll see what they are subtly saying is, “You all need to worship in an extroverted fashion.” Consider the phrases above. They are all prodding the audience to act extroverted. This makes the introvert feel uncomfortable, because what is being taught is that the way an introvert is naturally wired isn’t godly and spiritual, but instead they need to be something they weren’t designed to be in order to meet God’s standard.

Do not push introverts to doing extroverted aerobics. These can include dancing, singing, shouting, clapping, doing the Hokey Pokey, shaking hands, talking to their neighbor, or whatever. An extrovert can see an introvert sitting quietly during an exuberant worship number and think that person just needs some encouragement to really worship the Lord. I am aware extroverts often do this with the best intents. But, that introvert was having a moment with the Lord, or was reflecting on the words of the song, or was thinking through a deep theological truth that hit them earlier in Bible study and then someone breaks that moment and ruins the experience. There’s no way around the fact that extroverts, because they are often more outspoken and need more socializing, often impose extroverted expectations on introverts far more than introverts impose introverted expectations on extroverts.

The Worship Service is NOT the Main Event

Okay, I know someone is insulted by that statement, particularly the boldface “NOT”. It’s vitally important to understand how the introvert experiences the worship service. It’s entirely different than the extrovert.

To someone that is introverted, the worship service is exhausting. I’m using the example of the worship service because it’s a common point of reference to most believers. I’m not saying it can’t be valuable to an introvert, because it can. But, a congregation has to understand how introverts experience things so they don’t drive them away. 

Introverts are drained by too much socializing, too much noise, and too much interruption to their inner world. Doesn’t that sound like a worship service? I’ve found some of my most profound experiences of God have been when I’m alone—either in solitude or given the space to be in reflective thought. There have been times when I’ve found public worship and in particular singing satisfying. So, it’s not that introverts can’t enjoy worship.

One thing to understand is that for an introvert the worship service may not be the main event. And, that big social event afterwards is also not their main event. Most of the time these events are planned by extroverts and for extroverts. Space needs to be carved out for the introverts in order to draw in the people needed to do all aspects of the Lord’s work. Everything seems to revolve around the weekly main worship event and much of the time and energy of the congregation goes into this event. This unstated assumption may drive introverts away, because not enough effort is being put into creating quiet, intimate, smaller group events. I can speak for myself on this. I often get more—far more—out of an intimate Bible study than I do the worship service. 

There’s also subtle pressure on the introvert to see an extra exuberant worship experience as something special. This may be imposed from the stage, as a leader proclaims, “Wasn’t the praise and worship service this morning wonderful!” Which expects an exuberant, “YES!”. To an introvert, the praise and worship singing may have been too loud or too long—not because there is anything wrong with the introvert, but because it was an event created by extroverts for extroverts. There was far too much rah-rah and cheerleading going on. And, the introvert steps back and really wonders when that worship song stalled and totally lost its musical momentum, breaking down into a long pause of repetitiveness, if it was really the Spirit moving. I fear the “moving of the spirit” often isn’t a movement of God’s spirit, but is really something that is projected as God’s spirit. Sometimes it’s an extrovert just thoroughly enjoying extroverted aerobics. These statements that hint that an exuberant worship is somehow extra spiritual and godly, may leave the introvert feeling something is wrong when they needed something that is more quiet and reflective.

The Worship Music Does Not Prepare the Introvert to Listen to the Message

Oh boy, now I’m stepping on some toes! But, it has to be stated, because this will illuminate how introverts experience things.

I know the thought process. We need the praise and worship to prepare our hearts for the message. That isn’t necessarily true for the introvert. Remember, the praise and worship is an extroverted event. Even when an introvert is fully engaged and enjoying the praise and worship, it’s still draining their battery. As their battery drains, the introvert needs to turn to their internal thought processes to recharge. Which means, the introvert may be daydreaming when the message is placed at the end—not because there is anything wrong with the introvert spiritually, but because the worshipping has sapped their strength. While the praise and worship energizes the extrovert making them more prepared to hear a message, it does the exact opposite to the introvert—leaving them drained when it’s time to listen. The introvert that was the most engaged student during the small Bible study before service may be the least engaged during the message. Here’s a guideline that must be understood. If there is something extremely important to communicate, the introvert will be more able to absorb, understand, and process that information if it’s given before much socializing, singing, dancing, and music has occurred. Often the thinking that goes behind ministry events is done from an extroverted perspective. Things are designed by extroverts for extroverts. More space needs to be carved out for introverts to function in the body.

I’m not saying everything has to be designed to minister to introverts. What I am saying is currently 95% of the life blood events in congregational life are extrovert oriented and a proper balance would be that only 50% of the life blood events for a congregation should be extrovert oriented. There isn’t a proper balance and understanding of the introverted personality, which can drive introverts away—and, many of the most creative people, the ones that you need involved in creative arts ministries, walk out the door.

Let’s Turn Off the Music

I’ve been at many social events where someone feels the need to have music playing. Why? Why can’t we enjoy some food and fellowship without bringing in extra background noise? Plus, that social event is often after some sort of worship event, where I’m already drained by all the socializing and volume. It would be nice to have a quiet conversation with someone without constant distraction. Noise, distraction, and activity in the environment just drives the introvert to exhaustion. When there’s too much noise, I just want to leave.

Even when the music is turned off, you may need to consider the acoustics of the room. Some rooms are echoey. They reflect a lot of sound. In such environments, people tend to talk louder and the volume increases. It’s simply impossible to have a conversation with another person at a normal speaking volume, which drives the introvert out the door. Just think about it this way. With any kind of external stimulation, the introvert experiences it as much louder than the extrovert. What is a 3 on the extrovert’s volume knob of external stimulation is an 11 to the introvert.

Introverts often like cozy, quiet, intimate spaces. When planning social events, you need to consider finding those types of spaces to make introverts comfortable. I’m not saying every social event needs to be done this way. Your extroverts have needs that need to be met as well. But, almost all congregational social events I’ve attended have been too noisy for me to feel at peace for any length of time.

The Clock is Ticking

Keep the worship service within a reasonable and consistent time. Start on time and end up time. As the time clicks by, the introvert is becoming more fatigued. So, cut the fat out of the service. And, if the preacher is long-winded that needs to be addressed. I’ve heard five minute messages that have taken an hour to communicate. To be fair, I’ve also heard hour messages that needed to be an hour. Understand that what the extrovert experiences as “God’s spirit moving” the introvert is experiencing as the service needlessly dragging on.

Why Aren’t More People Involved

I know you’ve seen them—the quiet pew dwellers. They show up for every service, sit there quietly, leave without a peep, but never become involved beyond their regular attendance. It’s easy in ministry to think, “Well, I’m glad they attend. If they want to get more involved, that’s great, but I need to spend my energy on the 20% that’s doing 80% of the work.” It’s easy to become so busy that you don’t spend enough time reflecting, “I wonder why they don’t become involved beyond regular attendance?”

I’m not going to say I understand every fish that needs to be hooked. But, some of those fish are highly introverted pure creatives. You’ve designed things around the unstated assumption that the worship service is the point of entry to congregational life. So, that’s where the highly introverted pure creatives enter. They sit there and enjoy the service, but being involved in the service isn’t for them. It’s an extroverted event. They just don’t see themselves leading worship, giving a message, or being the cheerleader for the extroverted aerobics. They aren’t experiencing something that is designed by someone like them for someone like them.

They Want High Intellectual Stimulation and a Challenge

We aren’t wired like other people. We experience things differently. One thing we require is a higher level of intellectual stimulation than others. We can become bored easily. We find the same-old, same-old to be boring, dry, and uninspiring. We are often at the other end of the continuum of those that really enjoy nostalgia and tradition.

It’s pretty easy for the weekly service to feel like it’s hit a rut for us. Things are often run on the same template. And, it becomes boring. There’s not enough variety. I’m not sure why, but it’s often the traditionalist that gets their way when things are decided how things are structured. I’m not saying they should never get their way, because they have a need for nostalgia and tradition. What I am saying is they get their way too often. It would be nice at least once a month if not more frequently to have something different in the service—something like a drama performance, the introduction of a new song, a poetry reading, a video presentation, a believer’s art demo, or even to completely change the order of service. These things are often given the, “But, we can’t do that”, or the “We’ll have to think about it” response and never come to fruition. And, little by little the pure creative loses heart that there is a place for their unique talents in ministry.

Often things are organized by those good at administrative tasks, but administrators don’t understand creatives. They see the incorporation of something like a drama performance into the worship service as another administrative chore that needs to be done, where the creative sees it as a huge blessing and the rare opportunity to really use their creative talent.

At times in ministry there’s this notion that we must keep the task small. We’re dealing with volunteers. They have lives, jobs, and families. If we overburden them, we’ll burn them out. So, let’s keep things simple. Let’s not give anyone too much to do. This is proper thinking, but this thinking doesn’t consider the unique wiring of a true creative. Highly creative individuals like myself can become burnt out simply due to boredom. If the task is too small, it’s not a challenge. True creatives need challenge. They need tasks they don’t exactly know how to do and must figure out. They need a high degree of intellectual stimulation. For fear of giving people too much, it’s possible to give the creative person too little. For fear of burning people out, we naturally ask, “Is this task too big?” We need to balance that out when dealing with creatives by asking, “Is this task too small?”. You can unintentionally burn out a creative by not giving them enough challenge. 

The Business People and Administrators Can Crush the Creatives

Here’s a huge secret to working with creatives in ministry. You don’t need to understand them. You won’t. You won’t understand how that art show, drama performance, or new musical composition they’re working on is going to worship the Lord and minister to others. The only thing you need to discern is whether their talent is from the Lord and whether they are a person of godly character. If they are, then give them the green light as much as possible and let them do their art. Quit throwing up roadblocks and stop signs, because you don’t see what they see. They have a vision you don’t have, won’t understand, and can’t comprehend. 

Also, realize they don’t understand you. They often aren’t good at (and may not understand) the business end of things—keeping on the lights, paying the taxes, and making sure the building doesn’t crumble into ruins. You have an entirely different vision and insight into things. What I’m asking is for you to change your perspective on the ideas brought up from the pure creatives. You should be thinking about how you can free the pure creatives to realize those dreams as opposed to trying to understand those dreams from a business perspective. It’s often the administrative personalities that are most crucial to the successful ministry of the creatives. It’s also often the administrative personalities that cripple the creatives from ministering like they should.

One thing that cripples and drives away creatives is when their ideas are constantly blocked. In most congregations, big projects require approval before given the green light. Let’s use the example of a building project. Before that building project is undertaken, several contractors will be contacted. Everything will be planned out, itemized, and budgeted down to the penny before the stamp is given and work begins. This is certainly needed when doing a building project.

But, the expectation that every detail will be ironed out before beginning a creative endeavor is unrealistic. A creative pursuit only begins with an intuitive feeling of where things are headed. There isn’t a single piece of art where all the details fell into place until the piece was finished. Every worship song you sing started out with a creative musician with just a fledging idea of where they were headed.

On the business end of ministry, with things like a building project, the starting point for the project is having all the details figured out. For a creative project, the ending point is having all the details worked out. If your leadership structure only green lights projects when all the details are known beforehand, you are crippling the creatives and you are hindering them from doing the Lord’s work. You have become a stumbling block. Creativity simply does not operate like business. It’s not administrated like business. It doesn’t function like business. Yet, the pursuits of creatives are where they most reflect God’s character, because he is infinitely creative and designs some people to particularly reflect that aspect of his character. Some of the best business minds in your congregation would have stopped God’s building program when the earth was without form and void, because they couldn’t see how all the details were going to fall into place. Even in God’s creation, all the details were not in place until the creation was completed. Creative projects almost always begin by being without form and void. Often the administrative personalities that run things don’t understand this nebulous beginning, so they reject things that are truly from God.

Let the Dialogue Begin

I am speaking on behalf of people wired like me. We have for years been underrepresented, under utilized, and ministered to improperly. That needs to end and it begins by starting dialogue.

I hope those that are wired like me will read this and speak up. Share it. And, I’m hoping those in congregational leadership will approach this with an open ear and gentle spirit. For too long, the highly introverted pure creatives haven’t had the needed voice. So, I’m stepping up to sound the call.

Andy the Android: A Modern Day Parable

            “I can’t believe I get to take home Andy tonight!” Joe was ecstatic.

            “Calm down, dude. It’s only an android.” Steve peers at him whimsically.

            “Only an android? This thing walks and talks like a man. It has a heuristic computer with quadrillions of connections and bits of memory. Oh, man! And Zimmerman is in there installing the final pieces!”

            “Alright, alright! I got to admit. Having your own android is going to be pretty cool.”

            “You betcha! Man, I love working at Heuristic Robotics!”

            “I can’t believe you got Zimmerman—world’s foremost expert on artificial sight and hearing.”

            “The same artificial eyes and ears that restore sight and sound to humans are being installed in Andy, . . . this very moment!”

            “How about that entire network of nerves he created?”

            “I know! I know! Zimmerman’s giving him a sense of touch, taste, and smell. It’s going to be sweet!”

            Just then the door swings open. “Vell, boyz, zee android iz done.”

            Joe and Steve chuckle under their breaths at Zimmerman’s accent. They’ve been laughing ever since they first had class together six years ago when Zimmerman taught college.

            Joe billows, “Thanks Doctor Zimmerman.”

            The two of them hustle into the room. Andy is laying lifeless on a stainless steel gurney. Joe opens a small door hidden by his hairline.

            “Man,” says Steve. “This thing looks almost human.”

            Joe flips the switch and Andy sits up. “Happy Birthday!”

            Andy looks around the room. He appears a little bewildered.

            “Okay, Andy. Stand up.”

            Andy gazes at Joe. “That does not compute.”

            Steve takes a seat next to Andy. “Okay, Andy. Watch me.” He then stands up next to the gurney. Andy mirrors his motions.

            Joe commands Andy, “Okay, follow me to the car.” Steve and Joe walk out of the room. Andy remains behind, standing by the gurney. Steve chuckles, “Well, he’s your android. Good luck with that. I’m off to lunch.”

            Joe heads back into the room. “Okay, Andy, watch me and walk like I do. Just follow me.” Joe slowly begins to walk and Andy follows, mirroring every move. By the time they reach the parking lot the two of them are hitting a quick stride. Joe walks to the passenger side of the car and stops. “Okay, just stand here and watch me.” He opens the door, sits down in the passenger seats, gets back up, and closes the door. “Okay, now you do it.”

            Andy opens the door, sits down, gets back up, and closes the door.

            “Okay, okay. You almost got it right. Watch me do it again.” Joe opens the passenger door, sits down and closes the passenger door. He then rolls down the window. “Okay, after I get out of the car, you do exactly what I just did.”

            Andy opens the passenger’s door, sits down, closes the passenger door, and rolls down the window. Joe chuckles. “Well, I guess he learns by mimicry.”

            They drive away. “Okay, Andy. I’m taking you to the library. Access your files about reading and learning.”

            “Accessing, . . . accessing. Files downloaded and absorbed.”

            They pull into the library. Joe and Andy orchestrate a ballet of mimicry getting Andy into the building. Soon Andy is seated at a table. Joe has gathered some textbooks on robotics and cybernetics. “Okay, Andy, I want you to read these books.”

            Andy picks up the first book, Fundamentals of Robotics and Cybernetics: Exploring Cutting Edge Technologies in Artificial Intelligence. He begins to read. Joe looks at Andy and chuckles. “He looks bored . . . Nah, can’t be. He should soak up this stuff like a sponge.”

            In the corner of the room a group of children congregate for story time. A cheerful man begins to read Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat. Andy rises from his seat, walks over to where the children are, sits down, and listens intently. He even appears to chuckle at a few points. Joe is somewhat dismayed. “I wonder if there’s some sort of malfunction? I may have to take him back to the shop tomorrow.”

            Later that evening Joe and Andy are in Joe’s apartment. Andy sees Joe petting his cat, Snowball. Joe goes to the fridge for a drink. Andy begins to pet Snowball.

            RRRRRRrrrrrrrr! Snowball runs and hides under the couch.

            “No, no, no, Andy! You need to pet a cat lightly.”

            “That does not compute.”

            “Cat’s are fragile. If you’re not careful you can hurt them.”

            “That does not compute.”

            Joe grabs a few eggs from the fridge. He walks over to Andy. “Okay, fragile. Fragile things break easy. Grab this egg.” Andy grabs the egg, which cracks spilling on the floor. “You see. You broke it. Fragile things break easily. Now, take this next egg, but be gentle.”

            Andy gently holds the egg.

            “There, now you got it. Fragile—breaks easily, so you have to be gentle.”

            Andy stares at the egg in amazement. “Fragile.”

            “Yes, fragile. Fragile things break easily and need to be handled with care. Cats are fragile.”

            “Fragile. Cats are fragile. I understand.”

            The next morning it was back to the library. Again, Andy looked quite bored reading the textbooks. “Andy, do you know what you are reading?”

            “This does not compute.”

            “Andy, these are the greatest concepts known to man.”

            “Concepts? That does not compute.”

            “Concepts. You know, ideas.”

            “Ideas? That does not compute, . . . Oh, the Cat in the Hat.”

            Joe notices the children beginning to congregate for story time.

            “No, Andy. No Cat in the Hat. Today he’ll tell another story.”

            “Andy likes stories.” The android meanders over and sits with the children. He listens intently to Green Eggs and Ham. At a few points he even chuckles aloud.

            Joe watches from a distance, thinking, “I’m not too sure about this android. He can’t grasp a concept, but Sam I Am—he loves that! I think I need to take him back to the shop and call in Zimmerman.”

            After story time Joe and Andy head back to the shop. Andy is seated on the edge of the gurney as Zimmerman walks in.

            “Zoe, vat seems to be da problem?”

            “Andy just can’t seem to grasp concepts.”

            “Oh, I zee, I zee. Vell, vat does he grazp?”

            “He is good at mimicry and enjoys Dr. Seuss.”

            When Andy hears “Dr. Seuss” he grows excited. He recites, word-for-word, the entire text from Green Eggs and Ham.

            “You see, Dr. Zimmerman. That can’t be right for an android with a heuristic brain with quadrillions of connections.”

            Zimmerman peers at Joe whimsically. “And, vwhy iz dat not right? Vwe programmed him to learn.”

            “Well yeah, but Dr. Seuss? Why Dr. Seuss? Why mimicry?”

            “Vwell, vwe gave him zight, zound, touch, taszte, and smell. All his inputz and outputz are zsenzory in nature.”

            “Okay, his inputs and outputs are sensory in nature. What’s that got to do with it?”

            “Vell, if hisz inputz and outputz are zsenzory then how iz he going to learn?”

            “In a sensory fashion?”

            “Goodt, goodt! Yesz, he’z going to learn through hisz zsenses.”

            “But, I want him to read textbooks. I want him to encounter all the greatest concepts mankind has to offer.”

            “Do you like reading zee textboosks?”

            “Well, no. Not really.”

            “But, why Dr. Seuss? Why does he love Seuss?”

            “Storiez create imagez the mind can zee, hear, szmell, and taste. The characters, the plot, even zee rhzym of Dr. Zeuss is zsensory in nature.” Zimmerman peers at Joe as the truth begins to zink in. “Do youz remember taking my clazz inz college?”

            “Of course I do. That was my favorite class.”

            “Did I givze you a bunch of conceptz.”

            “I remember you gave a ton of stories, analogies, and demonstrations. It was unlike any class I’ve ever had!”

            “Yez, Yesz. So, did you learnz the conceptz?”

            “I sure did. Boy, those concepts were tough, but all those stories, analogies, and demonstrations gave my mind something to grasp.”

            “Zo, why should zee android be any different?”

            “I, . . . I, I guess he shouldn’t. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Dr. Zimmerman. Thanks for all your help.”

            “No problem, my yzoung friend.”

            Over the weeks and months that followed, Joe and Andy read a lot of Dr. Seuss. Joe tells Andy stories. He shows Andy the best videos he can find. He teaches Andy using a hands-on approach.

            Andy has many encounters with cats before he learns to handle them properly. But, don’t worry, no cats were harmed during the training of our android, . . . at least none seriously. Fluffy did develop a facial tick when someone tugs on her tail. But, don’t fret. All the kids in the neighborhood love Fluffy!

            As Joe teaches Andy, he begins to understand how people learn. He begins to notice people have a hard time grasping concepts, but stories, analogies, and hands-on learning they pick up quite easily. And, once all those sensory-oriented inputs begin to take root, they then begin to grasp concepts.