“I can’t believe I get to take home Andy tonight!” Joe was ecstatic.
“Calm down, dude. It’s only an android.” Steve peers at him whimsically.
“Only an android? This thing walks and talks like a man. It has a heuristic computer with quadrillions of connections and bits of memory. Oh, man! And Zimmerman is in there installing the final pieces!”
“Alright, alright! I got to admit. Having your own android is going to be pretty cool.”
“You betcha! Man, I love working at Heuristic Robotics!”
“I can’t believe you got Zimmerman—world’s foremost expert on artificial sight and hearing.”
“The same artificial eyes and ears that restore sight and sound to humans are being installed in Andy, . . . this very moment!”
“How about that entire network of nerves he created?”
“I know! I know! Zimmerman’s giving him a sense of touch, taste, and smell. It’s going to be sweet!”
Just then the door swings open. “Vell, boyz, zee android iz done.”
Joe and Steve chuckle under their breaths at Zimmerman’s accent. They’ve been laughing ever since they first had class together six years ago when Zimmerman taught college.
Joe billows, “Thanks Doctor Zimmerman.”
The two of them hustle into the room. Andy is laying lifeless on a stainless steel gurney. Joe opens a small door hidden by his hairline.
“Man,” says Steve. “This thing looks almost human.”
Joe flips the switch and Andy sits up. “Happy Birthday!”
Andy looks around the room. He appears a little bewildered.
“Okay, Andy. Stand up.”
Andy gazes at Joe. “That does not compute.”
Steve takes a seat next to Andy. “Okay, Andy. Watch me.” He then stands up next to the gurney. Andy mirrors his motions.
Joe commands Andy, “Okay, follow me to the car.” Steve and Joe walk out of the room. Andy remains behind, standing by the gurney. Steve chuckles, “Well, he’s your android. Good luck with that. I’m off to lunch.”
Joe heads back into the room. “Okay, Andy, watch me and walk like I do. Just follow me.” Joe slowly begins to walk and Andy follows, mirroring every move. By the time they reach the parking lot the two of them are hitting a quick stride. Joe walks to the passenger side of the car and stops. “Okay, just stand here and watch me.” He opens the door, sits down in the passenger seats, gets back up, and closes the door. “Okay, now you do it.”
Andy opens the door, sits down, gets back up, and closes the door.
“Okay, okay. You almost got it right. Watch me do it again.” Joe opens the passenger door, sits down and closes the passenger door. He then rolls down the window. “Okay, after I get out of the car, you do exactly what I just did.”
Andy opens the passenger’s door, sits down, closes the passenger door, and rolls down the window. Joe chuckles. “Well, I guess he learns by mimicry.”
They drive away. “Okay, Andy. I’m taking you to the library. Access your files about reading and learning.”
“Accessing, . . . accessing. Files downloaded and absorbed.”
They pull into the library. Joe and Andy orchestrate a ballet of mimicry getting Andy into the building. Soon Andy is seated at a table. Joe has gathered some textbooks on robotics and cybernetics. “Okay, Andy, I want you to read these books.”
Andy picks up the first book, Fundamentals of Robotics and Cybernetics: Exploring Cutting Edge Technologies in Artificial Intelligence. He begins to read. Joe looks at Andy and chuckles. “He looks bored . . . Nah, can’t be. He should soak up this stuff like a sponge.”
In the corner of the room a group of children congregate for story time. A cheerful man begins to read Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat. Andy rises from his seat, walks over to where the children are, sits down, and listens intently. He even appears to chuckle at a few points. Joe is somewhat dismayed. “I wonder if there’s some sort of malfunction? I may have to take him back to the shop tomorrow.”
Later that evening Joe and Andy are in Joe’s apartment. Andy sees Joe petting his cat, Snowball. Joe goes to the fridge for a drink. Andy begins to pet Snowball.
RRRRRRrrrrrrrr! Snowball runs and hides under the couch.
“No, no, no, Andy! You need to pet a cat lightly.”
“That does not compute.”
“Cat’s are fragile. If you’re not careful you can hurt them.”
“That does not compute.”
Joe grabs a few eggs from the fridge. He walks over to Andy. “Okay, fragile. Fragile things break easy. Grab this egg.” Andy grabs the egg, which cracks spilling on the floor. “You see. You broke it. Fragile things break easily. Now, take this next egg, but be gentle.”
Andy gently holds the egg.
“There, now you got it. Fragile—breaks easily, so you have to be gentle.”
Andy stares at the egg in amazement. “Fragile.”
“Yes, fragile. Fragile things break easily and need to be handled with care. Cats are fragile.”
“Fragile. Cats are fragile. I understand.”
The next morning it was back to the library. Again, Andy looked quite bored reading the textbooks. “Andy, do you know what you are reading?”
“This does not compute.”
“Andy, these are the greatest concepts known to man.”
“Concepts? That does not compute.”
“Concepts. You know, ideas.”
“Ideas? That does not compute, . . . Oh, the Cat in the Hat.”
Joe notices the children beginning to congregate for story time.
“No, Andy. No Cat in the Hat. Today he’ll tell another story.”
“Andy likes stories.” The android meanders over and sits with the children. He listens intently to Green Eggs and Ham. At a few points he even chuckles aloud.
Joe watches from a distance, thinking, “I’m not too sure about this android. He can’t grasp a concept, but Sam I Am—he loves that! I think I need to take him back to the shop and call in Zimmerman.”
After story time Joe and Andy head back to the shop. Andy is seated on the edge of the gurney as Zimmerman walks in.
“Zoe, vat seems to be da problem?”
“Andy just can’t seem to grasp concepts.”
“Oh, I zee, I zee. Vell, vat does he grazp?”
“He is good at mimicry and enjoys Dr. Seuss.”
When Andy hears “Dr. Seuss” he grows excited. He recites, word-for-word, the entire text from Green Eggs and Ham.
“You see, Dr. Zimmerman. That can’t be right for an android with a heuristic brain with quadrillions of connections.”
Zimmerman peers at Joe whimsically. “And, vwhy iz dat not right? Vwe programmed him to learn.”
“Well yeah, but Dr. Seuss? Why Dr. Seuss? Why mimicry?”
“Vwell, vwe gave him zight, zound, touch, taszte, and smell. All his inputz and outputz are zsenzory in nature.”
“Okay, his inputs and outputs are sensory in nature. What’s that got to do with it?”
“Vell, if hisz inputz and outputz are zsenzory then how iz he going to learn?”
“In a sensory fashion?”
“Goodt, goodt! Yesz, he’z going to learn through hisz zsenses.”
“But, I want him to read textbooks. I want him to encounter all the greatest concepts mankind has to offer.”
“Do you like reading zee textboosks?”
“Well, no. Not really.”
“But, why Dr. Seuss? Why does he love Seuss?”
“Storiez create imagez the mind can zee, hear, szmell, and taste. The characters, the plot, even zee rhzym of Dr. Zeuss is zsensory in nature.” Zimmerman peers at Joe as the truth begins to zink in. “Do youz remember taking my clazz inz college?”
“Of course I do. That was my favorite class.”
“Did I givze you a bunch of conceptz.”
“I remember you gave a ton of stories, analogies, and demonstrations. It was unlike any class I’ve ever had!”
“Yez, Yesz. So, did you learnz the conceptz?”
“I sure did. Boy, those concepts were tough, but all those stories, analogies, and demonstrations gave my mind something to grasp.”
“Zo, why should zee android be any different?”
“I, . . . I, I guess he shouldn’t. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Dr. Zimmerman. Thanks for all your help.”
“No problem, my yzoung friend.”
Over the weeks and months that followed, Joe and Andy read a lot of Dr. Seuss. Joe tells Andy stories. He shows Andy the best videos he can find. He teaches Andy using a hands-on approach.
Andy has many encounters with cats before he learns to handle them properly. But, don’t worry, no cats were harmed during the training of our android, . . . at least none seriously. Fluffy did develop a facial tick when someone tugs on her tail. But, don’t fret. All the kids in the neighborhood love Fluffy!
As Joe teaches Andy, he begins to understand how people learn. He begins to notice people have a hard time grasping concepts, but stories, analogies, and hands-on learning they pick up quite easily. And, once all those sensory-oriented inputs begin to take root, they then begin to grasp concepts.
