Restore Common Sense to Our Medical System

During some point in our lives, we’re all going to encounter the bureaucracy of medical treatment. And, we’re going to conclude that our system sucks. It’s often not the people. Sure, I’ve met a few doctors with a grumpy bedside manner, but on the whole the nurses, doctors, home health aides, and medical suppliers I’ve dealt with have been fine people. Some have been the kindest, most caring people I’ve met, who brought needed hope to a loved one in need. So, it’s not the people—at least not the ones on the front lines. But the system is faulty.

Rather than look at the system as a whole, I’d like to look at small details. A lack of attention to small details shows that somewhere along the line there’s an error. I’m sure as I point these things out, others have thought about them. They’ve talked to supervisors, medical suppliers, pharmaceutical companies, and politicians. As the little details have moved up the chain of bureaucracy, there’s been some shortsighted dimwit that has just given the response, “Well, we just can’t do that.”, or “That will cost extra money.”, or “You just don’t understand how the system works.” In some conference room, where the people with the real power make decisions that affect people’s lives, stupidity reigns, because corporate America is ruled by profits, power, and convenience for the small group of soulless jackasses that have the final say. So, let’s look at some of those details. As I’ve helped care for loves ones, it’s often these little details that frost me.

Let’s Read the Fine Print

Or, maybe we won’t read the fine print. Have you seen the fine print? You’d need a microscope to read the print on pill bottles, instruction stickers on medical devices, or the tiny print on a cellphone a home health aide is carrying, because their company thinks they only need one device. Wouldn’t want to pay a hundred bucks for a large tablet so grandma can read the fine print, now would we?

I’ve wondered, as I’ve seen an elderly relative struggle to read the fine print, why don’t they give them bigger instructions? And, why aren’t there instructions on the side of the oxygen tank? I know there’s room. Someone had enough thought to put the company phone number on the side in a thousand-point font, because, well, when that tank is empty, we need a call so we can sell another. Why aren’t things labeled in big, clear, easy to understand ways? Doesn’t anyone think about these things? My only conclusion is that someone has thought about these things. I can’t be the only one. Things were pushed up the chain and eventually died, because a lazy middle manager didn’t want to be bothered. Or, made it all the way up to the boardroom of jackasses and died, because that would cost an extra nickel. Well, if you multiply a nickel by a million orders, I’ll have to buy a smaller yacht.

Pills, Pills, Pills

Ah yes, the bag of pills. It’s a huge bag that’s extremely confusing to someone that can’t read the labels. Because, remember, the label is microscopic. Did you know it’s hard to read small print on a curve? Squint. Rotate. Squint. Rotate. Squint. Rotate. I’m getting a headache. And, why aren’t these instructions in English? I recognize all the characters, so it looks like English, but I don’t comprehend what’s being said. I’m a writer that’s helping my elderly relative. I’ve taught college English classes, so I should be able to figure this out, but there’s a lack of clarity in the wording. And then, it dawns on me. Instructions for something as important as a critical medicine, something that could turn dangerous or even deadly if misused, shouldn’t be reduced to one-hundred-forty characters like a Twitter post. Well, actually, I’m not even sure if they could fit one-hundred-forty characters on this teensy, tiny little label. My thumbnail is bigger

Did you know they can make injection molded plastic into cube shapes? Hard to believe, isn’t it? Simply making the pill bottle larger and square would help the situation. Of course, printing out the instructions on a regular sheet of paper in big print would really help. It may even give room to give complete instructions without any abbreviations or jargon. Yeah, that would really help. Of course, there goes some fuel for some useless jackass’s leer jet.

I have an idea. Now, I know this is going to be bold. It may be so brilliant that no one else has ever thought about it. Why not also print out a full list of all medications the person should be taking? Make it simple—include times, doses, and full instructions. And, include it with every prescription refill, because sometimes elderly people have a change in their medication and simply giving them obscure instructions about their new pill doesn’t tell them whether they should keep taking the old pill or if the new pill replaces the old one. Or, and I’m really spitballing here, because this idea is at an Einsteinian level of brilliance, why not have the pharmacist presort all the pills into little packets—Monday morning pills in one packet, Monday evening in another packet, Tuesday morning in another packet, and so on! I know, I know. Nickels and dimes, leer jets and yachts without fuel, and what if the pharmacy had to hire another person to do all that sorting? Oh, heaven forbid we help grandma and create a new job!

Then there is the pill splitter. Let’s give an elderly person with bent hands a pill the size of ladybug and expect them to split it with a little, cheap, injection molded plastic device. How’s that working for them?

Why are some of these pills so small? Don’t they have any fillers that could make them a reasonable size for disfigured hands to hold. We’ve all found a loved one’s pill on the floor. Somewhere along the line, with the forty-seven pills in their hand, one broke loose. We don’t know when it happened. We’re just glad they’re still alive. 

Touchscreens

Zombie fingers. Have you heard of zombie fingers? No, well, you’re about to learn something. Have you ever watched an elderly person fumble with a cellphone? Or, maybe it’s that touchscreen a home health aide hands them. You know, that device that has crucial information they need to read and understand. And then, instead of focusing on the information, it’s a struggle to scroll, pinch, and expand text. Touchscreens are designed to register electrical signals from contact with skin. But, people with circulator issues, or other medical conditions, may not have proper blood flow and function in their fingers. That can impact the electrical signals and the touchscreen doesn’t work properly.

Everything anymore is designed to function around the touchscreen. If your fingers work properly, that cellphone, tablet, or device can make your life easier. But, if your fingers don’t work properly, all those devices just make life harder. I’m not saying get rid of touchscreens. If you try to take away my iPad, you’re going to have a fight on your hands! But, there needs to be alternate ways to access information for elderly patients that need medical care. The touchscreen may not be the right tool for them, but what does every visiting nurse, home health aide, or medical supplier carry?

Zombie finger is well known. I found out about it, because I watched an elderly relative consistently struggle with a cellphone. I did a little research—nothing in-depth, just a quick Google search. I mentioned it to a home health nurse, who was carrying her touchscreen, but had never heard about it. Why? Why wouldn’t she know? Do you think device manufacturers are aware of the issue? And, in boardroom discussions, do you think there was talk about keeping a lid on this little problem? There could be research into make the device friendly for all users, but then, nickels and dimes, nickels and dimes, there goes my vacation to Bermuda. Why worry about the disenfranchised few when the phones are flying off the shelves? So what if grandpa is getting his physical therapy and is struggling with that touchscreen his occupational therapist gave him. It’s not our problem!

The Oxygen Tanks

Tank would be a good word. These things are huge. And, heavy! Really heavy! They’re not heavy for me or the guy that brings them to the house. No, we’re healthy men. We don’t have rheumatoid arthritis and breathing issues. I deadlifted twenty times the weight just this morning. But for a small, elderly woman with rheumatoid, these things are huge. Why? Can’t they make them lighter? We have plastics, polymers, and carbon fibers. Oh, right, nickels and dimes. But, once the tank is made, the company takes away the old tanks when they’re empty. I assume they sterilize them and refill them. So, the cost of a better tank is a one-time investment to make someone’s life easier.

Why are they round? Won’t a round tank roll around in the backseat or trunk of someone’s car? Plus, doesn’t a cylinder have less volume that a cuboid shape? So, a cylinder would have less oxygen than if the shape was squared off—meaning it has to be bigger to carry the needed oxygen. I know some engineer right now is thinking about the problems of manufacturing a cuboid shaped oxygen tank made of a lightweight polymer. There probably are issues, but we put a man on the moon, didn’t we? And, I’m sure that man needed some oxygen.

Summary

I know sometimes I think too much about things, but I also know others have come to these same conclusions. The little details at times can be infuriating. These little details can become big struggles. Or, sometimes a big catastrophe that leads to a hospital stay or even death. The small details are just a symptom of bigger problems. And, that’s really at the heart of many of the problems of our medical system. We sometimes treat symptoms and don’t uncover the underlying illness. And, that underlying illness is usually the nickels and dimes that fuel some useless extravagance. 

Introverts, Creatives, and Congregational Life

The congregational life for almost all congregations is set up primarily by extroverts and for extroverts. Likely you’re not ministering properly to the highly introverted pure creatives. This is a unique personality that a handful of people possess. I happen to be one of them. These unique individuals have a set of creative talents that you need in your ministry. They also have some unique weaknesses and needs you need to understand so you don’t drive them away.

What’s a Highly Introverted Pure Creative?

Let’s begin by defining the highly introverted pure creative. An introvert is a person that is primarily energized by their internal thought processes. They think deeply. They reflect. They have deep insight and understanding into things. They make great theologians, because their minds dig deeply into God’s soil.

They are also often highly creative. Some are pure creatives. God put pure creatives on this earth to write, create music, shoot videos, draw, paint, and dance. They most reflect Christlike character through the creative process. God is a creator and has designed certain people to reflect the creative side of his nature.

The key strength of the highly introverted pure creative is creativity. It’s also an area that is often misunderstood. They often question things and that questioning may be interpreted by those that don’t understand as being critical when that’s often not the intent of the heart. Their creativity often expresses itself as some type of art—music, drama, poetry, dance, painting, or other types of things. In many cases someone may be highly proficient in several arts.

At times God will give the highly introverted pure creative a gift that is forward facing—like teaching, evangelism, or administration. I know this, because God has gifted me to teach. To a certain degree this makes sense, because this personality type often uncovers deep truths through their incessant internal thought processes. Those truths need to be shared.

But there’s a rub. One of the key weaknesses of an introvert is they have limited people energy. People drain the introvert and in social settings they cannot turn this discharge of energy off. Often this discharge of personal energy energizes those around the introvert—sometimes in soft, subtle ways, but also sometimes in more exuberant fashions—like through teaching, preaching, or dramatic performances. An introvert may have a strong stage presence, natural leadership skills, can be the life of the party, may be funny, and may not come across shy or socially awkward. And, that’s a problem, because this masks their true personality and they may be expected to minister like an extrovert. 

A lot of noise and activity in the environment drains the introvert. They need quiet and solitude in order to escape into their internal thought processes and renew themselves. This isn’t to say the extrovert also doesn’t need some solitude and reflection, but for the introvert it’s a consistent, daily hunger.

While an introvert may come across as having a bubbly, exuberant personality, there is usually a reticent lone wolf residing underneath. This personality type doesn’t like conflict. And, they don’t like the need to be overly vocal to get their point across.

Our Society and Congregations are Run by Extroverts

Your most vocal people are your extroverts. So, when you design things to be more introverted friendly, the extroverts will be quick to speak up and assert their extroverted perspective on things. That’s their nature. The introverts won’t be as quick to speak. Perhaps that’s why things are often designed by extroverts for extroverts—the loudest and most persistent voices are the ones heard. God speaks in a still, small voice. And, it’s often the same type of voice the introvert uses. But, it’s hard to hear that voice when the extroverts are making too much noise.

I’m not saying everything has to be designed to minister to introverts. What I am saying is currently 95% of the life blood events in congregational life are extrovert oriented and a proper balance would be that only 50% of the life blood events should be extrovert oriented. There isn’t a proper balance and understanding of the introverted personality, which can drive introverts away—and, many of the most creative people, the ones that you need involved in creative arts ministries, walk out the door.

I’m not trying to pick on extroverts. Many of the most godly people I know are extroverted. They minister to me in ways an introvert could not. However, if you truly have a deep discussion with an introvert and they open up to you, which they may be hesitant to do because they fear bringing up uncomfortable issues that may cause conflict, they will express that they often feel society as a whole tries to conform them into acting in extroverted ways and suppresses them from keeping the extroverts in check.

Let’s Join a Worship Service

For most congregations, the main worship service is considered the lifeblood event of the congregation. This rule may not be stated, but much of the time, energy, and focus of the congregation goes into this weekly event. It’s often an event designed by extroverts for extroverts. By it’s very nature, it’s an extroverted event, because a large social gathering is an extrovert magnet.

Suppose in the middle of the service a particularly lively song is being played. Someone in the audience is dancing and clapping, hooping and hollering, praising the Lord. Someone goes up to that person and tells them to quiet down. Many people would think that is out of line. However, how many people would consider it out of line if someone were to nudge their quiet neighbor and encourage them to clap their hands? Probably not near as many. But, why? Why is it considered rude for an introvert to ask an extrovert to worship in a more introverted fashion, but it isn’t considered rude for an extrovert to ask an introvert to worship in a more extroverted fashion? There are some unstated social rules that a ministry must understand in order to be an environment that’s comfortable for introverts. One of these unstated societal rules is that extroverts are allowed to be overbearing and impose an extroverted environment on introverts, but introverts aren’t supposed to check the extroverts and quiet them down. I’ve spoken to many introverts that feel this way—not just about religious events, but about the way our society as a whole functions. Since the worship service is intrinsically an extroverted event, what needs far more consideration is accommodating the needs of the introverts, because the event can easily become overwhelming and fatiguing to introverts.

The Worship Leader is Too Rah Rah

At times the cheerleading from the worship team and those on stage needs to be toned down. You can sing and clap with all the energy and enthusiasm you want, but don’t try to prod others to do the same. Let’s consider common things a worship leader may say:

“Let’s all stand up and praise the Lord.”

“Can everyone clap and give the Lord a hand.”

“Can I hear a shout? Can someone give me an amen?”

“Let’s sing out.”

These kind of things are great examples of an extroverted encourager inadvertently creating an extroverted worship experience. Things become louder. There’s more movement and activity. And, the introvert becomes overloaded. It’s most worship leaders' natural tendency to push the worship experience in this direction; but, the introvert may need a more quiet, reflective worship experience.

While the extroverts may enjoy this prodding, the introverts finds it manipulative. Congregations need introverts being highly involved in the planning of worship and social events. And, they must understand that when an introvert gives feedback that basically amounts to turning down the volume, they aren’t trying to be a wet blanket. They’re trying to create an experience the introverts will also benefit from.

If you carefully consider most of the prodding the worship leaders and those on stage give, you’ll see what they are subtly saying is, “You all need to worship in an extroverted fashion.” Consider the phrases above. They are all prodding the audience to act extroverted. This makes the introvert feel uncomfortable, because what is being taught is that the way an introvert is naturally wired isn’t godly and spiritual, but instead they need to be something they weren’t designed to be in order to meet God’s standard.

Do not push introverts to doing extroverted aerobics. These can include dancing, singing, shouting, clapping, doing the Hokey Pokey, shaking hands, talking to their neighbor, or whatever. An extrovert can see an introvert sitting quietly during an exuberant worship number and think that person just needs some encouragement to really worship the Lord. I am aware extroverts often do this with the best intents. But, that introvert was having a moment with the Lord, or was reflecting on the words of the song, or was thinking through a deep theological truth that hit them earlier in Bible study and then someone breaks that moment and ruins the experience. There’s no way around the fact that extroverts, because they are often more outspoken and need more socializing, often impose extroverted expectations on introverts far more than introverts impose introverted expectations on extroverts.

The Worship Service is NOT the Main Event

Okay, I know someone is insulted by that statement, particularly the boldface “NOT”. It’s vitally important to understand how the introvert experiences the worship service. It’s entirely different than the extrovert.

To someone that is introverted, the worship service is exhausting. I’m using the example of the worship service because it’s a common point of reference to most believers. I’m not saying it can’t be valuable to an introverted, because it can. But, a congregation has to understand how introverts experience things so they don’t drive them away. 

Introverts are drained by too much socializing, too much noise, and too much interruption to their inner world. Doesn’t that sound like a worship service? I’ve found some of my most profound experiences of God have been when I’m alone—either in solitude or given the space to be in reflective thought. There have been times when I’ve found public worship and in particular singing satisfying. So, it’s not that introverts can’t enjoy worship.

One thing to understand is that for an introvert the worship service may not be the main event. And, that big social event afterwards is also not their main event. Most of the time these events are planned by extroverts and for extroverts. Space needs to be carved out for the introverts in order to draw in the people needed to do all aspects of the Lord’s work. Everything seems to revolve around the weekly main worship event and much of the time and energy of the congregation goes into this event. This unstated assumption may drive introverts away, because not enough effort is being put into creating quiet, intimate, smaller group events. I can speak for myself on this. I often get more—far more—out of an intimate Bible study than I do the worship service. 

There’s also subtle pressure on the introvert to see an extra exuberant worship experience as something special. This may be imposed from the stage, as a leader proclaims, “Wasn’t the praise and worship service this morning wonderful!” Which expects an exuberant, “YES!”. To an introvert, the praise and worship singing may have been too loud or too long—not because there is anything wrong with the introvert, but because it was an event created by extroverts for extroverts. There was far too much rah-rah and cheerleading going on. And, the introvert steps back and really wonders when that worship song stalled and totally lost its musical momentum, breaking down into a long pause of repetitiveness, if it was really the Spirit moving. I fear the “moving of the spirit” often isn’t a movement of God’s spirit, but is really something that is projected as God’s spirit. Sometimes it’s an extrovert just thoroughly enjoying extroverted aerobics. These statements that hint that an exuberant worship is somehow extra spiritual and godly, may leave the introvert feeling something is wrong when they needed something that is more quiet and reflective.

The Worship Music Does Not Prepare the Introvert to Listen to the Message

Oh boy, now I’m stepping on some toes! But, it has to be stated, because this will illuminate how introverts experience things.

I know the thought process. We need the praise and worship to prepare our hearts for the message. That isn’t necessarily true for the introvert. Remember, the praise and worship is an extroverted event. Even when an introvert is fully engaged and enjoying the praise and worship, it’s still draining their battery. As their battery drains, the introvert needs to turn to their internal thought processes to recharge. Which means, the introvert may be daydreaming when the message is placed at the end—not because there is anything wrong with the introvert spiritually, but because the worshipping has sapped their strength. While the praise and worship energizes the extrovert making them more prepared to hear a message, it does the exact opposite to the introvert—leaving them drained when it’s time to listen. The introvert that was the most engaged student during the small Bible study before service may be the least engaged during the message. Here’s a guideline that must be understood. If there is something extremely important to communicate, the introvert will be more able to absorb, understand, and process that information if it’s given before much socializing, singing, dancing, and music has occurred. Often the thinking that goes behind ministry events is done from an extroverted perspective. Things are designed by extroverts for extroverts. More space needs to be carved out for introverts to function in the body.

I’m not saying everything has to be designed to minister to introverts. What I am saying is currently 95% of the life blood events in congregational life are extrovert oriented and a proper balance would be that only 50% of the life blood events for a congregation should be extrovert oriented. There isn’t a proper balance and understanding of the introverted personality, which can drive introverts away—and, many of the most creative people, the ones that you need involved in creative arts ministries, walk out the door.

Let’s Turn Off the Music

I’ve been at many social events where someone feels the need to have music playing. Why? Why can’t we enjoy some food and fellowship without bringing in extra background noise? Plus, that social event is often after some sort of worship event, where I’m already drained by all the socializing and volume. It would be nice to have a quiet conversation with someone without constant distraction. Noise, distraction, and activity in the environment just drives the introvert to exhaustion. When there’s too much noise, I just want to leave.

Even when the music is turned off, you may need to consider the acoustics of the room. Some rooms are echoey. They reflect a lot of sound. In such environments, people tend to talk louder and the volume increases. It’s simply impossible to have a conversation with another person at a normal speaking volume, which drives the introvert out the door. Just think about it this way. With any kind of external stimulation, the introvert experiences it as much louder than the extrovert. What is a 3 on the extrovert’s volume knob of external stimulation is an 11 to the introvert.

Introverts often like cozy, quiet, intimate spaces. When planning social events, you need to consider finding those types of spaces to make introverts comfortable. I’m not saying every social event needs to be done this way. Your extroverts have needs that need to be met as well. But, almost all congregational social events I’ve attended have been too noisy for me to feel at peace for any length of time.

The Clock is Ticking

Keep the worship service within a reasonable and consistent time. Start on time and end up time. As the time clicks by, the introvert is becoming more fatigued. So, cut the fat out of the service. And, if the preacher is long-winded that needs to be addressed. I’ve heard five minute messages that have taken an hour to communicate. To be fair, I’ve also heard hour messages that needed to be an hour. Understand that what the extrovert experiences as “God’s spirit moving” the introvert is experiencing as the service needlessly dragging on.

Why Aren’t More People Involved

I know you’ve seen them—the quiet pew dwellers. They show up for every service, sit there quietly, leave without a peep, but never become involved beyond their regular attendance. It’s easy in ministry to think, “Well, I’m glad they attend. If they want to get more involved, that’s great, but I need to spend my energy on the 20% that’s doing 80% of the work.” It’s easy to become so busy that you don’t spend enough time reflecting, “I wonder why they don’t become involved beyond regular attendance?”

I’m not going to say I understand every fish that needs to be hooked. But, some of those fish are highly introverted pure creatives. You’ve designed things around the unstated assumption that the worship service is the point of entry to congregational life. So, that’s where the highly introverted pure creatives enter. They sit there and enjoy the service, but being involved in the service isn’t for them. It’s an extroverted event. They just don’t see themselves leading worship, giving a message, or being the cheerleader for the extroverted aerobics. They aren’t experiencing something that is designed by someone like them for someone like them.

They Want High Intellectual Stimulation and a Challenge

We aren’t wired like other people. We experience things differently. One thing we require is a higher level of intellectual stimulation than others. We can become bored easily. We find the same-old, same-old to be boring, dry, and uninspiring. We are often at the other end of the continuum of those that really enjoy nostalgia and tradition.

It’s pretty easy for the weekly service to feel like it’s hit a rut for us. Things are often run on the same template. And, it becomes boring. There’s not enough variety. I’m not sure why, but it’s often the traditionalist that gets their way when things are decided how things are structured. I’m not saying they should never get their way, because they have a need for nostalgia and tradition. What I am saying is they get their way too often. It would be nice at least once a month if not more frequently to have something different in the service—something like a drama performance, the introduction of a new song, a poetry reading, a video presentation, a believer’s art demo, or even to completely change the order of service. These things are often given the, “But, we can’t do that”, or the “We’ll have to think about it” response and never come to fruition. And, little by little the pure creative loses heart that there is a place for their unique talents in ministry.

Often things are organized by those good at administrative tasks, but administrators don’t understand creatives. They see the incorporation of something like a drama performance into the worship service as another administrative chore that needs to be done, where the creative sees it as a huge blessing and the rare opportunity to really use their creative talent.

At times in ministry there’s this notion that we must keep the task small. We’re dealing with volunteers. They have lives, jobs, and families. If we overburden them, we’ll burn them out. So, let’s keep things simple. Let’s not give anyone too much to do. This is proper thinking, but this thinking doesn’t consider the unique wiring of a true creative. Highly creative individuals like myself can become burnt out simply due to boredom. If the task is too small, it’s not a challenge. True creatives need challenge. They need tasks they don’t exactly know how to do and must figure out. They need a high degree of intellectual stimulation. For fear of giving people too much, it’s possible to give the creative person too little. For fear of burning people out, we naturally ask, “Is this task too big?” We need to balance that out when dealing with creatives by asking, “Is this task too small?”. You can unintentionally burn out a creative by not giving them enough challenge. 

The Business People and Administrators Can Crush the Creatives

Here’s a huge secret to working with creatives in ministry. You don’t need to understand them. You won’t. You won’t understand how that art show, drama performance, or new musical composition they’re working on is going to worship the Lord and minister to others. The only thing you need to discern is whether their talent is from the Lord and whether they are a person of godly character. If they are, then give them the green light as much as possible and let them do their art. Quit throwing up roadblocks and stop signs, because you don’t see what they see. They have a vision you don’t have, won’t understand, and can’t comprehend. 

Also, realize they don’t understand you. They often aren’t good at (and may not understand) the business end of things—keeping on the lights, paying the taxes, and making sure the building doesn’t crumble into ruins. You have an entirely different vision and insight into things. What I’m asking is for you to change your perspective on the ideas brought up from the pure creatives. You should be thinking about how you can free the pure creatives to realize those dreams as opposed to trying to understand those dreams from a business perspective. It’s often the administrative personalities that are most crucial to the successful ministry of the creatives. It’s also often the administrative personalities that cripple the creatives from ministering like they should.

One thing that cripples and drives away creatives is when their ideas are constantly blocked. In most congregations, big projects require approval before given the green light. Let’s use the example of a building project. Before that building project is undertaken, several contractors will be contacted. Everything will be planned out, itemized, and budgeted down to the penny before the stamp is given and work begins. This is certainly needed when doing a building project.

But, the expectation that every detail will be ironed out before beginning a creative endeavor is unrealistic. A creative pursuit only begins with an intuitive feeling of where things are headed. There isn’t a single piece of art where all the details fell into place until the piece was finished. Every worship song you sing started out with a creative musician with just a fledging idea of where they were headed.

On the business end of ministry, with things like a building project, the starting point for the project is having all the details figured out. For a creative project, the ending point is having all the details worked out. If your leadership structure only green lights projects when all the details are known beforehand, you are crippling the creatives and you are hindering them from doing the Lord’s work. You have become a stumbling block. Creativity simply does not operate like business. It’s not administrated like business. It doesn’t function like business. Yet, the pursuits of creatives are where they most reflect God’s character, because he is infinitely creative and designs some people to particularly reflect that aspect of his character. Some of the best business minds in your congregation would have stopped God’s building program when the earth was without form and void, because they couldn’t see how all the details were going to fall into place. Even in God’s creation, all the details were not in place until the creation was completed. Creative projects almost always begin by being without form and void. Often the administrative personalities that run things don’t understand this nebulous beginning, so they reject things that are truly from God.

Let the Dialogue Begin

I am speaking on behalf of people wired like me. We have for years been underrepresented, under utilized, and ministered to improperly. That needs to end and it begins by starting dialogue.

I hope those that are wired like me will read this and speak up. Share it. And, I’m hoping those in congregational leadership will approach this with an open ear and gentle spirit. For too long, the highly introverted pure creatives haven’t had the needed voice. So, I’m stepping up to sound the call.

Andy the Android: A Modern Day Parable

            “I can’t believe I get to take home Andy tonight!” Joe was ecstatic.

            “Calm down, dude. It’s only an android.” Steve peers at him whimsically.

            “Only an android? This thing walks and talks like a man. It has a heuristic computer with quadrillions of connections and bits of memory. Oh, man! And Zimmerman is in there installing the final pieces!”

            “Alright, alright! I got to admit. Having your own android is going to be pretty cool.”

            “You betcha! Man, I love working at Heuristic Robotics!”

            “I can’t believe you got Zimmerman—world’s foremost expert on artificial sight and hearing.”

            “The same artificial eyes and ears that restore sight and sound to humans are being installed in Andy, . . . this very moment!”

            “How about that entire network of nerves he created?”

            “I know! I know! Zimmerman’s giving him a sense of touch, taste, and smell. It’s going to be sweet!”

            Just then the door swings open. “Vell, boyz, zee android iz done.”

            Joe and Steve chuckle under their breaths at Zimmerman’s accent. They’ve been laughing ever since they first had class together six years ago when Zimmerman taught college.

            Joe billows, “Thanks Doctor Zimmerman.”

            The two of them hustle into the room. Andy is laying lifeless on a stainless steel gurney. Joe opens a small door hidden by his hairline.

            “Man,” says Steve. “This thing looks almost human.”

            Joe flips the switch and Andy sits up. “Happy Birthday!”

            Andy looks around the room. He appears a little bewildered.

            “Okay, Andy. Stand up.”

            Andy gazes at Joe. “That does not compute.”

            Steve takes a seat next to Andy. “Okay, Andy. Watch me.” He then stands up next to the gurney. Andy mirrors his motions.

            Joe commands Andy, “Okay, follow me to the car.” Steve and Joe walk out of the room. Andy remains behind, standing by the gurney. Steve chuckles, “Well, he’s your android. Good luck with that. I’m off to lunch.”

            Joe heads back into the room. “Okay, Andy, watch me and walk like I do. Just follow me.” Joe slowly begins to walk and Andy follows, mirroring every move. By the time they reach the parking lot the two of them are hitting a quick stride. Joe walks to the passenger side of the car and stops. “Okay, just stand here and watch me.” He opens the door, sits down in the passenger seats, gets back up, and closes the door. “Okay, now you do it.”

            Andy opens the door, sits down, gets back up, and closes the door.

            “Okay, okay. You almost got it right. Watch me do it again.” Joe opens the passenger door, sits down and closes the passenger door. He then rolls down the window. “Okay, after I get out of the car, you do exactly what I just did.”

            Andy opens the passenger’s door, sits down, closes the passenger door, and rolls down the window. Joe chuckles. “Well, I guess he learns by mimicry.”

            They drive away. “Okay, Andy. I’m taking you to the library. Access your files about reading and learning.”

            “Accessing, . . . accessing. Files downloaded and absorbed.”

            They pull into the library. Joe and Andy orchestrate a ballet of mimicry getting Andy into the building. Soon Andy is seated at a table. Joe has gathered some textbooks on robotics and cybernetics. “Okay, Andy, I want you to read these books.”

            Andy picks up the first book, Fundamentals of Robotics and Cybernetics: Exploring Cutting Edge Technologies in Artificial Intelligence. He begins to read. Joe looks at Andy and chuckles. “He looks bored . . . Nah, can’t be. He should soak up this stuff like a sponge.”

            In the corner of the room a group of children congregate for story time. A cheerful man begins to read Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat. Andy rises from his seat, walks over to where the children are, sits down, and listens intently. He even appears to chuckle at a few points. Joe is somewhat dismayed. “I wonder if there’s some sort of malfunction? I may have to take him back to the shop tomorrow.”

            Later that evening Joe and Andy are in Joe’s apartment. Andy sees Joe petting his cat, Snowball. Joe goes to the fridge for a drink. Andy begins to pet Snowball.

            RRRRRRrrrrrrrr! Snowball runs and hides under the couch.

            “No, no, no, Andy! You need to pet a cat lightly.”

            “That does not compute.”

            “Cat’s are fragile. If you’re not careful you can hurt them.”

            “That does not compute.”

            Joe grabs a few eggs from the fridge. He walks over to Andy. “Okay, fragile. Fragile things break easy. Grab this egg.” Andy grabs the egg, which cracks spilling on the floor. “You see. You broke it. Fragile things break easily. Now, take this next egg, but be gentle.”

            Andy gently holds the egg.

            “There, now you got it. Fragile—breaks easily, so you have to be gentle.”

            Andy stares at the egg in amazement. “Fragile.”

            “Yes, fragile. Fragile things break easily and need to be handled with care. Cats are fragile.”

            “Fragile. Cats are fragile. I understand.”

            The next morning it was back to the library. Again, Andy looked quite bored reading the textbooks. “Andy, do you know what you are reading?”

            “This does not compute.”

            “Andy, these are the greatest concepts known to man.”

            “Concepts? That does not compute.”

            “Concepts. You know, ideas.”

            “Ideas? That does not compute, . . . Oh, the Cat in the Hat.”

            Joe notices the children beginning to congregate for story time.

            “No, Andy. No Cat in the Hat. Today he’ll tell another story.”

            “Andy likes stories.” The android meanders over and sits with the children. He listens intently to Green Eggs and Ham. At a few points he even chuckles aloud.

            Joe watches from a distance, thinking, “I’m not too sure about this android. He can’t grasp a concept, but Sam I Am—he loves that! I think I need to take him back to the shop and call in Zimmerman.”

            After story time Joe and Andy head back to the shop. Andy is seated on the edge of the gurney as Zimmerman walks in.

            “Zoe, vat seems to be da problem?”

            “Andy just can’t seem to grasp concepts.”

            “Oh, I zee, I zee. Vell, vat does he grazp?”

            “He is good at mimicry and enjoys Dr. Seuss.”

            When Andy hears “Dr. Seuss” he grows excited. He recites, word-for-word, the entire text from Green Eggs and Ham.

            “You see, Dr. Zimmerman. That can’t be right for an android with a heuristic brain with quadrillions of connections.”

            Zimmerman peers at Joe whimsically. “And, vwhy iz dat not right? Vwe programmed him to learn.”

            “Well yeah, but Dr. Seuss? Why Dr. Seuss? Why mimicry?”

            “Vwell, vwe gave him zight, zound, touch, taszte, and smell. All his inputz and outputz are zsenzory in nature.”

            “Okay, his inputs and outputs are sensory in nature. What’s that got to do with it?”

            “Vell, if hisz inputz and outputz are zsenzory then how iz he going to learn?”

            “In a sensory fashion?”

            “Goodt, goodt! Yesz, he’z going to learn through hisz zsenses.”

            “But, I want him to read textbooks. I want him to encounter all the greatest concepts mankind has to offer.”

            “Do you like reading zee textboosks?”

            “Well, no. Not really.”

            “But, why Dr. Seuss? Why does he love Seuss?”

            “Storiez create imagez the mind can zee, hear, szmell, and taste. The characters, the plot, even zee rhzym of Dr. Zeuss is zsensory in nature.” Zimmerman peers at Joe as the truth begins to zink in. “Do youz remember taking my clazz inz college?”

            “Of course I do. That was my favorite class.”

            “Did I givze you a bunch of conceptz.”

            “I remember you gave a ton of stories, analogies, and demonstrations. It was unlike any class I’ve ever had!”

            “Yez, Yesz. So, did you learnz the conceptz?”

            “I sure did. Boy, those concepts were tough, but all those stories, analogies, and demonstrations gave my mind something to grasp.”

            “Zo, why should zee android be any different?”

            “I, . . . I, I guess he shouldn’t. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Dr. Zimmerman. Thanks for all your help.”

            “No problem, my yzoung friend.”

            Over the weeks and months that followed, Joe and Andy read a lot of Dr. Seuss. Joe tells Andy stories. He shows Andy the best videos he can find. He teaches Andy using a hands-on approach.

            Andy has many encounters with cats before he learns to handle them properly. But, don’t worry, no cats were harmed during the training of our android, . . . at least none seriously. Fluffy did develop a facial tick when someone tugs on her tail. But, don’t fret. All the kids in the neighborhood love Fluffy!

            As Joe teaches Andy, he begins to understand how people learn. He begins to notice people have a hard time grasping concepts, but stories, analogies, and hands-on learning they pick up quite easily. And, once all those sensory-oriented inputs begin to take root, they then begin to grasp concepts.    

Finding the Beat for Percussive Ukulele

 

              As I’m exploring percussive ukulele, I’m working to develop a systematic approach that will help me. Eventually, I hope to turn that systematic approach into a system that will help others. The basic unit (in terms of rhythmic ukulele) is a strum pattern. My initial plan is to build percussive strum patterns that are based on common strum patterns and drum patterns—a toolbox of techniques I can use to make music.

              However, the strum pattern isn’t at the foundational level of the beat. The strum pattern rests upon the foundation of the beat. Gloria Estefan would be proud because the rhythm is going to get me!

The Beat and Barre

              The foundational unit of rhythm in music is called a barre. You could think of it as a short rhythmic sentence. Each barre has a number of beats. But, how many? Fortunately, music is written in a way that tells us. It’s called the time signature. The time signature looks like a fraction that sits on the left end of the musical staff (all those lines and spaces). The top number in the fraction tells us how many beats are in each barre.

              The most common number of beats is four. You may have heard of four-four time or common time. That is the most common time signature in Western music. For now, we’re not going to worry about the bottom number in the time signature fraction.

              Each beat can receive a different amount of emphasis—HI, MID, or lo. So, with four beats we generally have the following pattern:

One                     Two                    Three                 Four

HI                         lo                      MID                    lo

              This pattern of HI, lo, MID, lo keeps repeating throughout the song. It forms the rhythmic spine upon which the notes and percussive sounds are built.

How Are Beats Emphasized

              You may be wondering, “How do I distinguish between the HI, MID, and lo emphasis?” One way is by volume. We do this when we’re speaking, don’t we? We naturally emphasis certain syllables in a word. The same is true of music. One syllable (beat) can be louder, softer, or somewhere in the middle. If you listen to lyrics, you may notice some lyrics really don’t sound the way someone would write. The words may be in a little strange order (at least when looked at solely as writing). Or, phrasing may be a little unusual. Yet, when you sing it, it sounds great. Why is that? The person writing the lyrics needs to line up the ordinary emphasis of the syllables of the words with the normal emphasis of the beats of the music. Obviously, this isn’t always a one-to-one correlation, but certain ways to organize words just sound more musical or poetic—and that’s because the emphasis of the syllables has a musical rhythm to it. The lyric writer at times may be doing this unconsciously, but they must write with a sense of beat.

              Percussive sounds can also provide different emphasis to beats. A bass drum (some sort of kick drum or concert bass drum) grabs the ear’s attention with a thunderous sound. Just imagine The 1812 Overture with those earth-shaking cannon blasts. Low frequency sounds tend to grab our attention more than the snap of a hi hat or cymbal. If you’ve ever heard a pipe organ live, the visceral feel of the pedal tones gives a satisfying feel to the music.

              Ever notice that many drumbeats are based around the kick drum, snare, and hi hat. Why is that? The kick provides a HI emphasis with its low-end rumble. The snare provides a MID emphasis, with its clean sound. The hi hat gives a lo emphasis with its tsk sound.

              There are other drums we could look at. The djembe and cajon base their sonic palette around three sounds: bass, tone, and slap. Hmmm? That sounds familiar. Bass: HI, tone: MID, and slap: lo.

              Please, if you’re a drummer, don’t be offended by this discussion. I’m aware drums are capable of an enormous range of sounds and I’m oversimplifying your craft. I’m in the process of figuring out how to make percussive sounds on an ukulele, which has a much smaller array of percussive sounds than a drum kit, djembe, or cajon. So, I must simplify the drum sounds. Thinking in terms of using the three main sounds of HI, MID, and lo emphasis is fitting for the percussive limitations of an ukulele.

              Another way to emphasize is by the grabbiness of a sound. Some sounds just grab our ears. More cowbell, please!

              So, we have three ways to emphasis beats: volume, frequency, and grabbiness. Can you understand why many bands have a bass player and drummer? They help to create the beat, which provides a rhythmic foundation for music. With percussive ukulele, we’re not trying to exactly duplicate the sounds bass and drums create. What we’re trying to do is to play in a way that helps to reinforce the beat.

The Offbeat

              Let’s consider the word “ukulele” for a moment. Listen closely to how it sounds. In general, the first two syllables—“uk” and “u”—are spoken in a way that each syllable lasts about the same amount of time. But, those last two syllables, “lele”, take up about the same amount of time as the “uk” syllable or the “u” syllable. What is happening is the word is broken down into three beats with that final beat broken down into two quick syllables.

Beat one                          Beat two                          Beat three

Uk                                   u                                       le-le

              The same thing happens in music. A beat can be broken down into subdivisions. The most common subdivisions would be two, three (called a triplet), or four. Let’s look at our four beats with subdivisions.

One      and       Two      and       Three   and       Four     and

HI                     lo                      MID                  lo

              The second subdivision in each beat (the and’s) are called the offbeat. Now, here’s where things get a tad confusing. When we break down a beat into a two-part subdivision, we call the first part the “beat” and the second part the “offbeat”. So, the term “beat” can be used to refer to the entire syllable or the first subdivision of that syllable. It’s not super confusing, but you do need to understand the context for the term “beat”.

Understanding the beat and offbeat is foundational to ukulele strumming. In general, the down strum is on the beat and the up strum is on the offbeat. It’s most common in the beat-offbeat subdivisions to put a little more emphasis on the first subdivision. In terms of ukulele, it may be more helpful to think in terms of down strum and up strum as opposed to beat and offbeat. The down strum in general is a little more forceful sound than the up strum.

              When investigating music, there really aren’t absolute rules. There are general guidelines and often those guidelines vary between musical styles. So, is it possible to down strum on the offbeat and up strum on the beat? Can one put a more emphasis on the offbeat than the beat? Of course, you can! What you’ll find is that all of a sudden you’re transported to the Caribbean and you just want to listen to some Bob Marley. Emphasizing the offbeat gives the music a Reggae feeling. And, who wouldn’t want to strum their ukulele on some warm Caribbean beach?

              So, let’s recap before we move on. The foundational rhythmic unit for music is called a barre. A barre is broken down into a number of beats. So far, we’ve looked at four beats per barre. Each beat can be further broken down into subdivisions. What is common in ukulele strumming is to break each beat down into two subdivisions: beat and offbeat.

              Beats and offbeats can be given HI, MID, or lo emphasis by varying their volume, frequency, and grabbiness. How emphasis is used can give the music a different feel and different styles of music and different cultural heritages emphasize beats differently.

Take Me to the Waltz

              Instead of four beats, let’s base music off three beats. Let’s try the following emphasis pattern:

ONE                    two                     three

              If you just start speaking the pattern in a repeating loop, you should feel like you’re about to dance a waltz. ONE, two, three, ONE, two, three, ONE, two, three, ONE, two, three. Can you feel it? Can you feel yourself gliding across the dance floor?

              Now, imagine singing Amazing Grace to that rhythm. Once you find the Waltz swing it kinda works, but it just doesn’t feel quite right. It’s not really a song you want to dance to. Amazing Grace is built on three beats, so let’s change the emphasis. Instead of ONE, two, three, try ONE, TWO, THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE. Ah, there you go! Now, it seems to work. By compressing the amount of emphasis between the downbeat and the other beats, the song takes on the dreamy quality of dancing with the Lord.

              I just introduced the term “downbeat”. The downbeat is the first beat in a bar. It's usually emphasized more than the other beats. I say usually, because there are no absolute rules in music—only guidelines.

Let’s Start Marching

              Two beats are sometimes used in music. So, you can have a ONE, two emphasis, which is how I would generally emphasize something with two beats. You could also have a ONE, TWO emphasis.

              Let’s stick with a ONE, two emphasis. I want you to imagine the ONE being played on a kick drum—DUM— and the two being played on a hi hat—tsk. DUM, tsk, DUM, tsk, DUM, tsk, DUM, tsk. Keep it going until you can really hear it. Do you want to march? A two-beat barre creates a marching feel. Just imagine that poor kid in marching band that must lug around that bass drum. If they’re playing a song that has a marching feel to it, he’s going to have to feel that ONE, two, and strike the drum on the ONE. He probably won’t find the beat, because he’ll be distracted by the girl who decided bagpipes are a marching band instrument, and her daddy is a lawyer!

              So, the number of beats and how we emphasize the beats really create the feel for music. Simply by changing up those variables, we can create an extreme amount of variability in the sound of music. While two, three, and four beats are most common, one can theoretically use any number of beats. If you want to write some music based on seventeen beats, go ahead! Just don’t expect me to help you.

Let’s Go to the Dark Side

              While I’m not going to look at all the possibilities when it comes to the number of beats and how to emphasize, there are a few others worth a short investigation. Let’s briefly get into the dark side of five, six, and nine beats.

              Five Beats. So, we’ve already established that the strongest emphasis is generally on the downbeat (the ONE). How are we going to emphasize things with five? We could break things down into subdivisions of two plus three, or three plus two.

ONE                    two                     three                  FOUR                  five

Or,

ONE                    two                     three                  FOUR                  FIVE

Or,

ONE                    two                     THREE                four                     five

Or,

ONE                    two                     THREE                FOUR                  FIVE

              If you say these, you can hear each one sounds a little different and conveys a different feel. There’s another trick that’s done with five beats. That’s creating music that has two long beats (one and a half beat X two = three beats) and two short beats. The Mission Impossible theme does this. What the composer is doing is basically writing a four-beat song composed of two long beats and two short beats. The time signature is designed to write music where each beat is equal length, so the composer must figure out a way to write the music in a way others can play it. Basically, it breaks down as follows:

How it feels

O-----N-----E                    t-----w-----o                     THREE                FOUR

How its translated into musical language

ONE      and       two       AND     three    and       FOUR   and       FIVE              and

              If you don’t quite follow that explanation, find a recording of the Mission Impossible theme and listen to it. Sometimes music theory doesn’t make any sense until you hear it.      

              Six Beats. When you get into beat numbers that are divisible by three, it’s helpful to think in terms of groups of three. So, class, what is six divided by three? If you answered two, well done. If you answered something different, you may have trouble with music theory.

              So, which beat is going to usually get the strongest emphasis? If you answered the downbeat, you’ve been paying attention. So, we have the downbeat followed by beats two and three, which will make up our first group of three. Beat four starts the second set of threes. So, it’s probably going to be emphasized, but not quite as strong as the downbeat. So, we’ll give beat four a MID emphasis. That MID emphasis won’t sound emphasized unless beats two, three, five, and six are given lo emphasis. So, we have the following pattern with six beats:

ONE                    two                     three                  FOUR                 five                     six

              As we discuss all these beats and variations, is it getting confusing? I know I’m confused and I’m writing this! It really helps if you have a metronome that plays different time signatures so you can hear what they sound like—particularly one that allows you to adjust how beats are emphasized. We’re not going to talk about the bottom number in that time signature equation, but you could use the following time signatures to hear what the number of beats sounds like:

Four beats: 4/4

Three beats: 3/4

Two beats: 2/4

Five beats: 5/4

Six beats: 6/8

Nine beats: 9/8

              Nine Beats. So, we’re again thinking of a multiple of three. So, it’s helpful to bring things down into sets of three. How many sets of three? Someone in the back of the room says three. Good, we’ll go with three. Now, where are we going to put our strongest emphasis? The downbeat! Yes, I see someone has been paying attention.

              The second set of three begins with beat four; the third set of three begins with beat seven. So, it seems logical to give them MID emphasis. Everything else we’ll give a lo emphasis. So, we have:

ONE      two       three    FOUR     five     six        SEVEN    eight    nine

Summary

              Phew! We’ve covered a lot. Music can be broken down to a basic rhythmic unit called a barre. A barre will have a number of beats. We looked at two, three, four, five, six, and nine beats. But, any number of beats is theoretically possible.

              Each of those beats can received a different emphasis: HI, MID, or lo. These emphases are achieved by varying the loudness, frequency, and grabbiness of the sounds.

              The first beat in the barre is called the downbeat and generally receives the strongest emphasis. Beats can be further broken down. For ukulele strumming, it is common to break a beat down into two subdivisions. When strumming, the down strum is generally put on the first subdivision and the up strum on the second subdivision.

              The number of beats and the emphasis given to each beat create a basic rhythmic feel to the music. It gives us a rhythmic foundation upon which to build our strumming and percussive playing.