God's Special Batteries

            God creates special batteries. These special batteries are people that energize those around them. Some of them are the life of the party—radiating a bombastic vibe that fills a room or stage with electricity. Some of them are shy and awkward—always uncomfortable in a crowd; yet, there is a gentle, penetrating warmth that emanates from them. Some are the champagne effervescence of dialogue—bubbling over with friendliness. These batteries are introverts.

            I know what you’re thinking: “I’ve never heard introverts described like this before?” No, no, you haven’t. I fear introverts are often viewed as moody, withdrawn, and gloomy. At the party, the introvert can be the Jeckyll-Hyde—the hot fudge frosting and cherry on top until ninety minutes in when their personality becomes the rice cake on the snack tray. And then, ten minutes later, Hyde sulks out the back door to, “Go home and take a nap.”

            I am an introvert raised by a family of introverts. Don’t fear. Being raised by introverts isn’t like being raised by wolves. I’ve never known wolves to eat their young. Ah, that sly, dark sense of humor I possess. Not all introverts are funny, but many are. So, let’s begin looking at this mysterious creature.

            Yesterday I was having lunch with three friends. Two I suspect are introverts. One is definitely an extrovert. Mr. Extrovert was the conductor of the discussion. Of course, you may wonder, how could I tell? An introvert can also direct the symphony of dialogue. Here’s the difference. At about three hours in, the introverts were becoming tired. Once an introvert’s social bottle is uncorked, those around can freely imbibe until the vessel is dry. Once dry, there is no more to give. Mr. Extrovert, on the other hand, was just getting going, because his glass was now sloshing over. I suspect he could have continued incessantly until basic life processes (like the need for sleep or perhaps death) prevented his socializing.

            In social settings, the introvert has a battery set on discharge. So, they can be the energizers. The extrovert has a battery set on recharge. That’s why as the party progresses, you’ll see the introverts begin to exit while the extroverts beg them to stay. Without an energizer around, the extroverts become leeches without a host. Once the introverted social champagne has run dry, the extroverts are left by themselves and begin to drink harder social liquors. The introverts left the party four hours ago to drink on their thoughts all alone.

            Is it fair to call the extrovert a leech? Probably not, but I’m doing the writing. When extroverts enter their rah-rah, let’s-go-team mode, they feel like a leech to introvert. Introverts that have ever been in sales know what I’m talking about—where some overly caffeinated facilitator leads the group through extroverted aerobics—slanting slogans, clapping, standing up, doing the Hokey Pokey, and turning around and then, as we’re ready to slump in our seats due to exhaustion, we’re supposed to turn to our neighbors. To an introvert, this is manipulation. You are using our social energy, that special battery God has given us to share with the world, and you’re wasting it on trivial games simply for your amusement and the benefit of all the extroverts in the room.

            I am aware I’m not being fair to the extroverts. I have extroverted friends who are wonderful people. What I’m sharing in the previous three paragraphs is not a rational analysis of extroversion. It’s how extroverts feel to introverts once the introvert’s battery is depleted; or, when the extrovert’s extroversion knob is turned too high.

            Introverts are society’s special battery. They can energize those around them. But, that energy comes at a dire cost to the introvert—because that energy is limited and at times can easily be depleted. To the introvert, this means you must learn how to budget that energy. At times, reclusion is the only healthy option. For the extrovert, realize you are spending our precious energy. Don’t waste that energy on the trivial or for your feel good amusement. Help us channel that energy for the betterment of mankind.